Thursday, May 24, 2007

Pathetic Dog Owners

A post over at OTB got me thinking about dogs. Now I don't have anything against dogs. But I don't have anything for them either. They're just animals, and animals can be classified as useful (horses), tasty (cows), or other adjectives that describe their utility (some can even be inspiring).

But most of the time dogs are simply annoying. But it's not the animal's fault, it's their annoying owners, who fall into several main categories:

Oblivions - These are the owners that have dogs that bark for 30 minutes to an hour non-stop in the middle of the night and don't do a single thing to stop them. These are the owners that let their dogs jump all over you when you enter their front door. These are the owners who assume that everyone has the same attitude about dogs as they do.

My Dog Can Do No Wrong - You know these types, the owners of dogs who dig up your yard, knock over your garbage, or do other types of destruction and just smile and shrug their shoulders like it isn't a big deal.

The Law Doesn't Apply to Me - Leash laws and curbing (i.e. "clean up") ordinances don't apply to these types. One time I kept finding crap in my yard, and figured it was from someone's morning walk. I started reading the paper while sitting by my front window, and sure enough I saw a woman I didn't know walking her dog straight towards my house. I went outside and stood in my yard and folded my arms. She quickly turned around and walked briskly away. I didn't have any more problems after that.

It's A Rat But I'll Pretend It's a Canine - These are the owners that own little yelping, rat-sizes creatures, but pretend its a mighty wolf (okay, they are related genetically, but they need a different classification since they look like they are descended from a mop). This group is actually worse than the owners in Japan who thought they had poodles, but actually had sheep.

It's a Dog But I'll Pretend It's a Child - One time Mrs. Director and I received a Christmas card with a couple and their dog. All three were dressed in the same matching sweater and hat. Mrs. Director and I looked at each other with the "how pathetic" look in our eyes. Luckily the couple eventually had real children and we never saw the dog again, but many, many people never leave this stage. I understand, somewhat, anthropomorphizing a pet, but let's not get carried away.

Are there good dog owners? Sure there are. They are the ones who you don't realize own a dog.

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