Thursday, June 12, 2008

Camper Report Time

It's time to send camper reports home! Here is what a parent will see:


Johnny had a great time this summer, improving his skills in archery and riflery. He also made lots of friends in the cabin and I see him becoming a true leader in the future...etc., etc.



Here is what counselors really want to write:

  • Johnny is a little momma's boy who can barely take care of himself. I tried to grow him a pair this summer, but I am afraid he is going to turn out to be a real wimp...

  • Have you tested Timmy for retardation or brain damage? His favorite past time is sitting slack-jawed staring into space. I give him instructions while he looks straight at me, but even after multiple repetitions it still doesn't get through...

  • Freddy is a little $&!t who obviously has never been disciplined. You obviously have no parenting skills...

  • Franky is a nondescript kid who leaves one's memory as soon as he is out of sight. He's not a bad kid, but he has no qualities whatsoever that make him stand out...

  • I am so glad that I was able to get Tommy out of your clutches if only for a short time. He's a good kid, but you spoil him and don't allow him to do anything for himself. If you would only get out of his way and allow him to be his own person, you will be surprised at the things he can do...

  • We are not supposed to play favorites, but Mikey was my favorite kid in the cabin. His quiet intensity and self confidence made him stand out in a cabin full of boys who could barely take care of themselves. He pays attention in all activities, trying to learn and improve whatever skill he is trying. He is a fun boy to hang out with, and if I had a son I wish he could be like him.



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