Tuesday, January 18, 2005

I'm Not Setting Foot On This Plane

As a frequent flier, I actually am one of those people who makes note of the model of plane being offered when I book reservations. The issue ranks below scheduling in order of importance, but all things being equal, there are some planes I prefer to be on than others (I avoid MD 80s - aka Multiple Defect 80s - for example).

Well, here is one plane that I will change schedules to avoid: Airbus Unveils Monster Passenger Jet. Why? Let's count the reasons:
1. Bigger means more crowded - Getting on a rinki-dink 737 for a short-haul trip takes half an hour for 120 passengers to get on and stow their 4 carry-on bags. How long you think it will take to load 555 passengers?

2. Bathroom Lines - What do you want to bet this thing has the same number of bathrooms as planes that carry half as many passengers?

3. Thirsty? - Since they increased the number of passengers, they'll probably increase the number of stewardesses. Yeah, right.

4. European - I'm sure this plane will hold up as well as the airports the French built for it.

5. Bomb Magnet - For those terrorist cells running low on martyrs, this is a can't-pass opportunity to kill twice as many passengers with half as many suicide bombers.

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