Bobby Knight Style Employee Motivation

For those of you under a certain age, Bobby Knight was a legendary, controversial, and very winning basketball coach.  He is best known for throwing a chair across a basketball court and getting ejected.  Did the stunt fire up his team?  Damn right it did.  He threw histrionics, got into the face of his players and seemed emotionally unhinged most of the time.

But this style of coaching is a form of play-acting.  The emotions are real and raw, but it is a performance calculated to push a team or the people you are leading to an emotional edge, and from that edge get everyone motivated, or get a different perspective of things.

This style of management and coaching is pretty much dead in the US as it won't really work with snowflakes and the fragile millennials swamping the system.  Today's millennials are all like Peggy here in this clip, who just want a pat on the head.  For those of you not familiar with the show Mad Men, this is Peggy's manager Don going over the emotional edge trying to get Peggy to accept business life as it is, not as a play-date with participation trophies and thank-yous.  But both the lesson and the coaching style are lost on her.

 

 

I'm old enough to have witnessed this style a couple of times.  Back when I had football coaches, I was at a halftime team meeting when the coach hit a wall saying we were messing things up, then pointed into the locker room and said "You're smiling, this isn't funny!".  Everyone froze wondering who was laughing at the coach, then he went totally off the rails ranting on how this was another example of us not taking it seriously, to the point it was sort of scary seeing that much anger.  We were all shaken, full of adrenaline and fired up after that, then went out and kicked butt in the second half.  Later everyone on the team talked about it and we decided no one was smiling - it was all an act to fire everyone up.

I also have seen this technique in the business world, more recently, but with a very powerful CEO of a public tech company, so maybe this style does exist in small pockets very high up in high-performing companies.

In this case I was in a senior meeting with my boss, CEO of a small tech company, and he pretty much started lying about what our company's technology could do.  I sort of sat there sort of quietly gasping, but this other CEO knew bullshit when he heard it and started leading my CEO down a path of questioning, and with each bullshit answer this CEO kept going louder and louder with each succeeding question until he was yelling at the top of his lungs.  I did not see this a true anger, but actually thought this guy was actually trying to help my CEO by going through an object lesson, a sort of play-acting.

But my CEO wasn't getting it, not because he was a snowflake and upset, but because he was literally oblivious to the lesson.  He basically shrugged it off and didn't take anything away from the encounter as if lying about tech is just what you did and if people got angry, so what.

So like Don is finding in this clip, this is an old technique that maybe has a very limited place in sports coaching, but less and less effective in the business world.

Existential Sales Psychology

In many situations my sales technique is indistiguishable from a therapy session.  After all, sales is about establishing a relationship, a relationship is built on trust, and trust requires intimacy.

In these sessions you have to start with the fundamental fact that people are insecure about something.  The insecurity may not necessarially be about you or the situation or the reason you are even there.   But you have to wait, to be patient, and tease the thing out, because ultimately you need to support this insecurity.

Most insecurities come back to the prime existential doubts: death, isoloation, independence, having to make decisions.  These usually manifest themselves in very indirect ways.  Your job as a salesperson is to find out what these insecurities are and to support them.

And how do you support them?

The opposite of insecurities are vanities, what a person takes pride in.  Everyone has these too, and unlike insecurities these are usually pretty easy to distiguish.  Your job as therapist-salesperson is to use a person's vanities to support their insecurities, acting as middle man and earning trust.

It's really not that hard.

The difficulty lies in taking your own emotions - your own insecurities and vanities - out of the equation, while at the same time remaining authentic (and, yes, this exact same advice is given to therapists).

Business Quote of the Day

The most dangerous negotiation is one you don't know you're in.

- Jim Camp

Rocky (Sales) Relationship Letter

Dear Joe,

I wanted to share with you my feelings about our relationship.

I feel I really put myself out there for you, wondering about your needs, concerned about how you are doing.  I think about you a lot, and believe I have much to offer you, but my emails go unanswered my phone calls ignored.

I don't hear from for months, writing you off for good, and then you ask me out of the blue to come see you.  And then when I'm standing there in front of you, you have the nerve to blame ME that the relationship is rocky, that it is somehow my fault that we aren't moving forward together.

It's only when you have "urgent needs" and a deadline that you suddenly find me interesting. But when your needs go away I know your interest will too.  I'm a grown up, Joe, I've seen this before.

I want you to know that I really want us to work.  But it has to be a two-way street.  You can't just discard me then suddenly call when you find you need me.

I'm here for you, Joe, but only to a point.  There are others out there - your competitors - who value what I have.   They want me and treat me with respect.  And if you can't do that, then maybe it's time we should part ways.

Please think about this.  Take some time, and if you feel that you want to work on this, develop a real relationship, you have my number.

Sincerely,
Your Sales Guy

Bare Feet and Advertising

I think most people are unaware how much in advertising is about manipulating feelings. I ran across this entry on a real estate blog and found this little example both funny and insightful:

If you never noticed all the bare feet in new home ads, you will now (sorry). Some marketing consultant long ago noticed that bare feet suggests the comforts and coziness of home. Doesn't the couple in the picture look like they have the life all of us want?

Bingo. And now you will notice it consciously, where before you noticed it only at gut level.

Idiotic Call: No Fancy Hotels Ever

Via Gongol comes a rather infantile list of "things American business can do better". It reads like it was written by an 18-year-old parroting his Econ 101 prof.

But one comment really put me over the top:

Nobody should ever stay in a fancy hotel for business. $200+ a night? Are you stupid or what?! It's. A. Room. With cooties. No matter how nice it is.... It's a bed and a bathroom... You wouldn't burn your own money-- why would you burn company money?

Obviously not a road warrior - and someone who could never retain talented individuals if he ran a business that required people to travel.

I go on the road sometimes for 1-2 weeks a month. My hotel is where I LIVE when I am on the road. It's my home. And for being away from my real home, for putting in the long miles and hours, giving up my weekends, I deserve to be comfortable when I am at my "travel home". This is part of my "compensation" for what I do. An unlisted part of my paycheck.

This jerk thinks that skimping on hotels for his travelers will help business? This is the same sort of manager who makes people come in on the weekends for free because his people should be thankful for having a job.

Do I put up my own money for nice hotels? You bet your ass I do. I also spend my own money to have a nice home when I at not traveling.

Let's ask this guy if he is saving his own money living in a dive. I bet he isn't.

Beware Salesmen Asking Questions

One of the things you might notice about salesmen is that sometimes they ask questions that are not just right, are a little off, are repeated, or even totally off-topic. This is not because they are scatter brained - okay, maybe they are - but more often they are trying to do one of several things:

• Break the Ice - This is the most common stereotype of salesmen, and it is true. Salesmen will chat you up on all sorts of topics from the meeting room to the conference room. It can be as mundane as the weather, maybe even a warm-up to the business discussion.
  
• Just Get You Talking - You'd be surprised what people will reveal if you just get them talking - talking about anything. Once talking you can bring them where you need them to go, but if they aren't talking at all you can't get them there, and you get people talking by asking questions.
  
• Get Them To Correct You - This is one of my favorites. Ask something that isn't quite right about the industry, technology or something related to the business: "I heard SuperGlobalTek was in merger talks with ChinaTek?" The customer will jump right in to correct you to show you how smart they are. "They're not? I had it ALL wrong. So tell me what you heard!" And you're off to the races, getting all sorts of juicy tidbits and getting the customer talking. This also works for email by the way, but has to be used judiciously since you create a trail that could come back and bite you.
  
• Keep Them Off Balance - I actually do this a lot, not so much to keep a customer mentally off balance, but to keep the talks from getting too serious, keep the customer focused on the relationship more than the tactical business issues (i.e. keep the thinking emotional rather than rational). So I am the guy who throws in jokes and sidelines during the serious business back-and-forth. Not a "clown", but rather subtle observational humor that might get a chuckle or a smile.

And everyone thinks we just do it with our winning smile and personality.

Sales Meetings and Success

Me: I had a great meeting with SuperGlobalTek.

Boss: Did they give you money?

Me: No

Boss: Then it wasn't a good meeting.

G2 on G2

For the past few years I have heard the term "G2" thrown around when someone is talking about information. Like "Get some G2 on that company," or "Here is some G2 I found out about the new iPhone".

I always wondered where the phrase came from. I couldn't figure out two words with G in them that worked and I couldn't find anything on the internet. I figured it came out of some marketing book or consulting company and the phrase just got passed around.

It was in a WWII book I am reading that I found the answer:

G-1 is a U.S. Army staff designation. It signifies the staff officer responsible for operations at a divisional or corps headquarters. Likewise a G-2 was responsible for intelligence, a G-3 for supply.

So like ASAP and snafu, it's an army expression, in this case just shorthand for "intelligence".

Three Simultaneous Sales Meetings

One of the interesting thing about Asia is that the large corporations have a bullpen in the lobby for meetings. They have so many vendors calling on them it makes sense. However, there are private rooms, so you can tell where you are in the vendor pecking order by whether you meet in the bullpen or a private room (about 95% of my meetings are in private rooms, but the bullpen is not unheard of for me).

I shot this picture while waiting to be escorted to a private room. Can you tell who the "seller" and "sell-y" are for each meeting? (clicking and looking at the larger res picture helps).

How Good Are You Reading Facial Expressions?

This facial expressions test is a little hokey, but interesting. It has a person "at rest" then quickly flashes up a facial expression, which you are to try to identify. I got most on my first try, all by the second.

If you want training on reading facial expressions, this is a really cool site:

It takes a few minutes of playing around to get it, but is worth it.

And Look 'em In The Eye

File under "duh": A Firm Handshake Helps Land Jobs.

Here is my entry on How to Shake Hands.

The Sales Definition of "Know"

One of mentors, when I would mention anybody, would exclaim "I know him!" After a while I just rolled my eyes when he said this. After a few more years of sales experience I figured out that "know" is thrown around quite a bit and can mean a whole range of things:

1. I was best man at his wedding - we are like brothers.
2. Would let me babysit his kids
3. Invites me to his house for dinner
4. Has accepted a dinner invitation to my house
5. We do lunch
6. Will return my phone calls
7. Would recognize me in a line-up
8. I would recognize him in a line-up
9. I recognize the name
10. His company sounds familiar

About the only way "know" is not used in sales is in the Biblical sense.

How to Shake Hands

One of the things that really pisses me off is when I shake someone's hand and they are looking at or talking to someone else. Of course I am in sales and consider a handshake critical to my work, but everyone should know how to do it. So here it is step by step:

1. Extend your hand.

2. Look the other person straight in the eye. You give them your complete and total attention (it simply amazes me the number of people who don't do this).

3. Smile. And I don't mean an idiotic used-car-sales grin, but a pleasant, welcoming continence. Even in a nasty negotiation there is no reason to frown or grimace.

4. Grasp the other person's hand. Firm, but not too tight. A weak handshake can be translated as a weak person. And an iron grip is showing off. If you have one of those "missed grasps" when your hands don't come together just right (about 1 in 50 for me), just ignore it and continue with the greeting. It happens.

5. State your name clearly and distinctly, with a very small pause between your first and last names. There is no need to rush. The pause helps people who are not native English speakers separate your first and last name, or it helps those who are English speakers deal with non-native names.

6. The other person will usually state their name in return. Pay attention and try to remember it. Associating the name with someone I already know works for me (So this guy is "Mark", like my cousin Mark)

7. Pump the person's hand a few times. In the U.S. a few shakes is considered the norm. Asian cultures - when they shake hands - might hold on for a few more shakes.

8. Release



Special Situations:

• Business Cards - A whole separate blog entry one day. Essential when you are meeting a dozen people at once (common in sales presentations)
• Japan - A combination "shake-and-bow" is used a lot in Japan with Western visitors. The bow is about half the depth of a normal bow.
• Korea - the left hand is (or was) considered unclean. So when shaking hands (and when passing or receiving an item ) the left arm is kept bent and flat against your stomach.
• The Double Grip - Used only when you are meeting someone you already know and are genuinely happy to see. When meeting for the first time this is in the same category as the used-car-sales grin.
• The Left Arm on the Shoulder - I never use it when initially greeting, but I do use it when exiting a first meeting I think went especially well. Like the double grip I also use it for people I am truly happy to see, but not close enough to hug (American males are hugging more and more it seems)
• Women - Many women, especially from the South, are taught that they have to offer their hand first, so a man is considered "forward" when sticking his hand out first. This is sort of an instinctive thing you have to call by ear. Also, women generally grip weaker than men, so I typically use a less firm grip.

Negotiation Tip of The Day

If you don't say no, you won't get no.

Psychological Sales

A couple of readers have wondered why I have psychology books on my reading list. The fact of the matter is that sales - most of life actually - can be helped by using certain psychological techniques. Here are a few of them that are taught in most sales courses:

• Mirroring Body Language - Just put yourself in the same body position and posture as the person across from you in order to build rapport. People usually do this unconsciously anyway, but it doesn't hurt to be aware of it.

• Reading Body Language - There are whole books on this subject, but I think all you need to know are the basics since you are unconsciously aware of it anyway. The simple ones are that are taught in sales training courses are crossed arms indicates defensiveness, both hands out and up indicate openness, both hands out and down indicates emphasis.

• Repeating the Last Thing Someone Said - The goal here is to keep someone talking or to expand on what they said. The other person will go on without thinking about it. I was even caught in it when explaining it to someone else. "Repeat the last thing they said?", my friend asked. "Yes, you see..." and I went on for a moment before I realized she had caught me. A simple variation to keep people going is "Hmmm mmm".

• Silence - Many, if not most, people are uncomfortable with silence and will attempt to fill the void. The hard part is getting them to fill it with information you need.

• Full Listening - Most people hear, but are already thinking about the next thing they are going to say in the conversation. The hard thing is to listen totally. What words is the person using? What words are they not using? Where are they looking during the conversation (to their right is fabrication, to their left is recollection). What is their pupil dilation and what is that telling you?

These techniques along with some basic psychological understanding (Freud, Rogers) can give you a surprisingly good view into what people are thinking.

Seminar From The Author of "Getting to Yes"

I had the distinct pleasure this week to attend a two-day negotiation seminar from one of the co-authors of Getting to Yes, Bruce Patton.

Bruce was one of the co-founders of the Harvard Negotiation Project, which provided the basis of his best selling business book. Today he is a director at Vantage Partners, which provides negotiation training and consulting.

The class largely follows the techniques and overviews of the book, but obviously hammers it into your head better with stories, vignettes and exercises. Bruce is a great lecturer who tells engrossing stories about negotiations covering both his personal experiences in diplomacy (South Africa, Middle East) and business, as well as some historical details on negotiations most people aren't familiar with (we discussed everything from WWII to present day Iraq, and no matter your views they were engrossing conversations).

I am not going to cover the class since a lot of it is covered in the book, but I will say the lecture is much better since it is better able to hit points home, plus he can answer questions and give critiques on your own past experiences or present problems, making the lesson more concrete.

I previously had a chance to do something similar from the author of Start with No, and my conclusion: Patton was (much more) superior for coming up with negotiation strategy. Camp was better on negotiation tactics.

Negotiating Is Just One Big Dance

So keep on playing those mind games together
Doing the ritual dance in the sun

- John Lennon


I have a price negotiation going on that I compared to dating. I am playing hard-to-get against a suiter who is definitely interested and who hasn't walked away even after I gave him a brush-off about a month ago.

But now that I am coming around, he is playing mind games of his own, constantly moving meetings on me and screwing with my travel schedule. In the Jim Camp negotiation book this is about "driving the schedule", and a way to get the other side to commit resources to a negotiation. These resources can be time, money, effort, emotion, and so on, with each one having a different "multiplier". The more resources put into a negotiation (times the multiplier) the harder it us to walk away (time and money are the hardest for an organization to walk away from, emotion the easiest).

So the more you can get the other side to invest, the more leverage you will have in the negotiation. It's just one big dance.

A Difficult Part of Work: Not Answering Email

First thing in the morning I check and answer email. Then throughout the day. Then at night after dinner. Then before going to bed. It's not that I am addicted, it's that my company spans from the Middle East west to Asia, and either a customer or someone in my organization is always up and working.

But the hard part of email isn't answering it, it's not answering it, which is important in several cases:

Cooling Off - I will admit that I am really bad about this, but sometimes waiting to tell off that VP could wait until the next morning when you cool down a little. Execs don't have all the information, history and background on a problem, and when they state a solution that I think is wrong, I usually answer straight away why they are stupid and my solution is superior. This can be okay if stated politically, which isn't the case when I dash off my first thoughts like "what are you thinking, you moron?" Cooling down and writing an email that is more politically savvy is a better idea.


Waiting on Someone Else - Sometimes I get an email from a customer asking about something that I have already tasked someone else to do. Sometimes a "we are working on it" email is okay, but sometimes just waiting another day and sending an email with all the info is better. Sort of a judgment call.


Pacing - Negotiations take time and sometimes you should think about an email for a day or two before replying, or just pace the negotiation appropriately by waiting to reply. Right now I have a large Asian customer that sent me an email last Friday asking me if I would reply to a pricing request by this Wednesday. I didn't reply to that email and will get back to them on the pricing this Friday. They are on the hook and aren't going anywhere (if you think of this situation like dating, it will make total sense).


Political - I have read that you should wait x hours before replying to certain emails to let people think you are busy. I am not into that, but I will admit that sometimes not replying is better politics than replying, depending on circumstances. Also, not answering or delaying an answer can say as much as replying in some instances.


Excuses - And one of the best reasons not to answer email: "Oh, you asked for xyz? I must not have seen that email..."

"Precision" Questioning and Answering

One of my "areas of development" this year is to develop a more concise businesss communication style. There have been complaints that when someone asks me the time I tell them how to make a watch.

So I was interested when someone in the company forwarded me some material on "Precision Questioning and Answering", which the consulting company of course abbreviated to PQ and PA.

Looking through the material (some of it free on their website), a lot of it seems common sense, but does address two issues why concise communication is needed:

1. Executives are overloaded with information and don't want the thorny details, just the high-level information they need. They hired you, after all, to take care of the fine print.
   
   
2. There simply isn't time to go into the details of every project. "Drilling down" would make meetings take hours and emails last pages. This points are driven home when you start moving out of operational and departmental meetings and start participating in executive and board meetings. The information traded is brief, concise and rapid. There is no "drill down", and you would be amazed on how (seemingly) little information is used to make decisions.

There is nothing earth shattering in the material, but it's nice for a refresher on how to better communicate to senior management.