The Executive Christmas Party, or The Art of Small Talk
So the Double Secret Management Christmas Party was last night. Yes, it was held in a nice country club. Yes, wine and beer flowed liberally (unlike the bowling party where it was B(uy)YOB). Yes, we all had nice filet mignon. The problem was keeping conversation going with people you have absolutely nothing in common with, except work.

The Wall Street Journal today talks about the pitfalls of holiday parties and saying the right thing (it requires a subscription, so I won't link to it here), but their advice is to keep it easy on the alcohol, don't stick your foot in your mouth, and especially don't get carried away and start groping that girl from accounting or you might find yourself unemployed by New Year's.

I would add that there are certain items you don't talk to the boss about - religion and politics. Even if he has a picture of the President in his office (mine does), you never know what land mines you might step on, so it is best to leave politics at the door, even if you think you might agree with him. Ditto on religion.

So that means learning the art of small talk, or talking about things without really talking about anything. Safe topics always include sports (golf in this case), recently released movies, vacations you have been on. Kids are usually safe, unless his happens to be in jail (this actually happened to me about a decade ago. I asked a manager about his kids, and one was in prison), so stick to YOUR kids and see what else is volunteered. Inevitably the topic usually turns to work since that is usually about the only thing everyone in the room has in common, which it did last night.

I had to keep Mrs. Director from checking her watch every ten minutes, but we made it through the evening keeping up three hours of small talk. In all I think the people who WEREN'T invited to the party got the better deal.

posted by Director_Mitch @ 3:18 PM (Permalink)
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Where is Everyone?!?
Is it me or is the blogosphere seriously slowing down as we approach Christmas? I have a couple more hours to kill here at "work" before I am off the rest of the week and NO ONE is posting! How am I supposed to kill the next couple of hours?

Admittedly, my own posting will be slow starting tomorrow. I WILL post on the Double Secret Holiday Party which is tonight, but then it will be slow until business resumes next Monday.

As a side note, I found a laugh out-loud satirical site called Blame Bush. It's not what you think. Go take a look (if you are okay with bad language).

posted by Director_Mitch @ 3:25 PM (Permalink)
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Twinkle, Twinkle Little...Fighter Jet?
"Daddy, is that the Star of Bethlehem?", my daughter asked, pointing into the Christmas night sky.

"No, sweety, that is an F-16 tactical fighter, capable of supersonic flight and armed with AIM-7 Sparrow and AIM-120 advanced medium-range air-to-air radar missiles."

"Why is it up there on Christmas?"

"They're protecting us, sweety."


posted by Director_Mitch @ 2:13 PM (Permalink)
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The Virtual Consulting Company
A couple of weeks ago I received an email from an outfit that wanted to "sign me up" as an "as needed" paid consultant. I would fill out a form giving them the segments, companies and products I was an expert in, and when they had a client that needed to pick my brain, I would be contacted to set up a phone consultation. After the call, I would fill out on-line forms to get paid based on the time I spent on the phone, and sometimes for any prep work. (They contacted me via Monster, which has my resume, but not my name, so they knew my specialties, but not who I was).

I was a bit skeptical, figuring this was some sort of scam, sham, or spam, but I decided to fill out their form and see what happened. Worst case they would have my name and email, and lots of Nigerians already have that.

Turns out they're legit. The company is Gerson Lehrman Group and their virtual consulting practice is called The Councils of Advisors (which I will shorten to COA). COA uses the power of the web to create a pool of talent in various segments: tech, healthcare, energy and other segments. When a client needs information on a segment, COA acts as marriage broker, linking the two parties together. The "consultant" tells COA what their hourly rate is, and I assume COA bills the consultant out at "rate+$100" or something along those lines.

This is a clever business plan that creates a win-win-win situation for everyone. The "consultant" is typically doing some other full-time job, so this is a way to pull in a few hundred bucks on the side by allowing someone to pick his brain on stuff he already knows. The client gets the information he is looking for, so he's happy. And COA creates a low overhead consulting company since they don't have a full time "staff", but people who just manage the consultants. They have been around since 1999, so I assume they are doing well after being in business for four years.

Obviously there are a few caveats and ethical considerations for people doing the consulting: don't give out any information about your current employer (if employed), don't release any information that is covered by non-disclosure agreement (NDA), and other common sense measures.

I have already been contacted for two consultations. The first one I had to turn down since the segment was outside my areas of specialty, but the second one is right up my alley. COA gave the client my name and email, and he contacted me to set up a consultation next week. I hit HIS web site, and it is a mutual fund company, so everything seems kosher at that end as well.

I'll update here on how the whole billing/payment process goes.

posted by Director_Mitch @ 1:53 PM (Permalink)
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Are Bloggers Over-Hyped and Self-Important?
From Editor and Publisher: Blah, blah, Blogs: Probably the most hyped online development in 2003 (along with growth in site registration), but will these self-important online journals actually change the way newspapers do journalism on the Web?

We aren't self-important, we are just changing the way information is distributed and translated, thus changing the entire face of media, creating an entirely new paradigm of information, ushering in a new millennium of dialog and community...(add more self-important descriptions here).

Hat Tip: Lost Remote

posted by Director_Mitch @ 10:16 AM (Permalink)
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For Those Last Minute Shoppers
Got a friend or Significant Other that is just IMPOSSIBLE to shop for? How about getting him/her a decommissioned aircraft carrier?



This is listed over on Ebay Motors, so the host is legit, although whether the item is or not is questionable. It claims it was Built by Swan Hunter & Wigham Richardson Limited England/1942-1945, Loaned to Australia 1953 to 1955, sold in 1956, re-fitted 1957 and 1960. All yours for the current bid of ~$6.5 million.

Hat Tip: Common Sense and Wonder


posted by Director_Mitch @ 3:33 PM (Permalink)
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Quake Didn't Even Slow My Typing
I was in the middle of a nasty email to an HR manager when the quake hit Orange County (story for another blog entry some time). It was a gentle rolling - I ALMOST thought movers were dragging furniture on the floor above me, but it lasted too long for that. I kept typing and finished my email by the time the rolling stopped.

I am on the third story of a four story building and that may be the only reason I felt it. Mrs. Director, who has this week off, didn't feel a thing at home just a few miles away.

I figured it was some small trimmer from the desert, so was quite shocked to find out that two people were actually killed because of it.

posted by Director_Mitch @ 2:26 PM (Permalink)
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Window Manager Round-Up
Window Manager is in two round-ups this fine Monday morning:

Carnival of the Capitalists - My article on Marcomm made this week's summary of business and economic posts over at Bejus Pundit.

Bear Flag Roundup - Bear Flag member Boi did a summary of what all the BFL members have been writing about lately. He used a bowl game theme to group everyone, and I don't know if my article on management double standards being with LSU is a compliment or not...

posted by Director_Mitch @ 8:40 AM (Permalink)
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Theoden for Best Supporting Actor
Mrs. Director gave me a kitchen pass Friday night to see The Return of the King and I really don't have much to add to the 100s of other bloggers who have already commented. You know the drill: Wow. Go See It. Etc.

One thing I would say is that going in I figured Gandalf would steal the show like he did in The Two Towers. However, I must say I was really moved by the performance of Bernard Hill as Theoden. He likely doesn't have a chance, and a lot of people are talking about Eowen as a contender, but I will be satisfied if just the movie itself and the director get the nod from the Academy.

posted by Director_Mitch @ 9:17 PM (Permalink)
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