Write Your Own Joke

Too much testosterone kills brain cells

Also keep in mind that alcohol kills brain cells, so these two facts now explain a great deal.

Never Underestimate the Strength of the Starbucks Lobby

After the liquid ban I noticed that the airport Starbucks lines were a lot shorter. If you can't bring your $4 coffee on the plane with you - and if time is tight - you are going to pass.

So the FSA now allows you to bring any liquids "purchased in a secure area", meaning you have to leave the toothpaste at home, but your Starbucks purchased in the security area is now okay.

But I am not complaining.

How Much is That iPod in the Window?

BOM (Bill of Materials) for new 4GB iPod: $72.24. Suggested Retail Price: $199.

Airport Screenings are Getting Ridiculous

The screener going through my bag looked familiar. I looked closer and saw that it was Dirk, who traded in his mullet for a crew cut. He had really acclimated to the TSA culture.

"I notice you have toiletries in here."

"Um, yes," I replied. "I took out everything liquid and pasty and left everything that would pass screening."

"Pass screening? Isn't that for me to decide? For example, what's this?"

"Dental floss."

"To you, maybe. To me it is a possible garrotte. I am afraid I I'll have to confiscate it. And what's this?"

"A comb?"

"These teeth are reinforced plastic. You could break off a bunch, leaving you a handle with a sharp protrusion at the end. You can't bring this on."

"Okay. Whatever. Take it all, I have to catch my plane."

"One more thing. What's this?"

"Oh, those are Tae Kwon Do shoes. They are smaller and lighter than regular gym shoes, so I pack them for working out in hotel gyms."

"But when you don't use them for gym workouts, you use them for Tae Kwon Do?"

"Um, yeah."

He squinted and looked uneasily at me. "So your hands and feet could be considered weapons?" His right hand slowly lowered towards his gun.

I ran out of the airport as fast as I could, not caring if I missed my flight.

This is How Power Brokers Spend Their Weekends

And every Saturday we work in the yard
Pick up the dog doo, Hope that it's hard

Take out the garbage and clean out the garage
My friend's got a Chrysler I've got a Dodge

We're just ordinary average guys

- Lou Walsh, "Ordinary Average Guys"


Something's wrong here:

Tuesday - Donned new, custom tailored power suit. Met with one of the largest Chaebols in Korea. CTO of one of the divisions says he is interested in my products, wants follow-up meetings in both the U.S. and Korea. This could be a multi-product, multi-million dollar deal. I direct my local man on the ground to figure out the internal politics so we make our way to the key decision maker.

Thursday - Meeting with one of the largest conglomerates in Japan. Discussion with my internal advocate goes very well, and we agree to an executive level meeting with his management and my CEO. I start working on setting up this meeting, which will allow me to both penetrate higher into this huge Japanese company as well as hob-nob with my own CEO.

Thursday Evening - Night on the town in old Kyoto, seeing quaint, 200 year old bars and eating outstanding sushi. Don't know what the evening cost, but it was well into the four figures by the time we stumbled back to the hotel by 1am.

Friday - Meeting in Tokyo with a mid-size Japanese company that has a long-standing relationship with my company. We go out afterwards, and after a fantastic dinner we hit a hostess club where we all sang karioke and flirted with pretty young girls until 1am.

Saturday - Dug a hole in my yard to find a sprinkler leak. Waited in line at hardware store to buy 40 cent plastic pipe. Fertilized yard and trimmed hedges. Tucked my daughter into bed and went to sleep by 9pm.

Product Idea

Since air travelers can't carry toothpaste with them on their carry-ons and since hotels are spotty whether they provide it in your room (U.S. and Korea generally no, Japan generally yes), how about a travel toothbrush with the cleaning/freshening agent built-in to the bristles? It would be good for 4-5 days, by which time the built-in agent is used up and the whole thing thrown away.

I Need Power

No, not the figurative kind. I mean literal. Due to a miscommunication with the airport shuttle, I had to literally run out of my house to make sure I caught my flight. And in the rush out the door I forgot to pack my laptop power cord.

So here I am Asia with about five hours of battery life. I am hoping one of my colleagues who is joining me has an IBM so I can borrow his cord. I can use the hotel business lounge computer, but it means that when I am working in my room, I will be


UPDATE: I have a one-day reprieve since a compatriot whose schedule overlaps mine for one day carries an IBM. And since all IBMs use the same power supply (unlike Dell and HP which have separate power cords for seemingly every model), I could juice up for a day.

Another Update: I picked up a power supply in Seoul's Gimpo Airport of all places - and at a fraction of the cost of what it would have cost me at Fry's in the U.S.

Aren't These Titles All Pretty Much The Same?

My company has had an influx of new executives along with some reorganizational shuffling. After the dust cleared, all the execs have titles that pretty much cover the same areas. Here is the actual list of titles:

VP - Corporate Strategy
VP - Strategic Planning
VP - Business Development
VP - Emerging Markets
VP - Marketing


The turf wars are already developing. The main demarkation lines are pretty clear, but what is obscure is where the alliances will form. The VP Biz Dev is getting friendly overtures from the previously chilly VP Marketing after the VP Strategic Planning came on board. The VP Corporate Strategy is politically hobbled, but has a good personal relationship with the VP Emerging Markets.

Just so everyone is clear, I report into the guy who owns the top-line revenue number.

How Did You Spend Your Long Weekend?

Oh, I went to the beach, had a dinner party, went to a BBQ, the usual Labor Day weekend activities, but I also did a typical weekend's worth of work:

Work Emails Read: About 30

Work Emails Written: About 20

International Conference Calls: 1


Luckily, at the time I did my conference call the Margaritas at the BBQ hadn't hit me yet, so I think I sounded sober to the guys in Korea.

But the fact of the matter is that my job is 24/7. Just because it is a holiday here doesn't mean it's one overseas. And due to the nature of my job and industry, "holidays", "vacation" and other forms of "time off" just mean that the pace of work slows down a bit.

Steve Irwin Dead? It was Bound to Happen

I am saddened, but not surprised, to hear this bit of news:

Steve Irwin, the quirky Australian naturalist who won worldwide acclaim, has died in a marine accident off Australia's northeast coast, local media reported on Monday.
...
"The Crocodile Hunter" who won international acclaim and popularized the phrase "Crikey," was believed to have been killed by a stingray barb that pierced his chest.

I used to watch his show regularly a few years ago, and I was just sit there in front of the tube saying "This guy is insane!", but still watched him, nevertheless.

My regards go to his family. I would say, however, that at least he died doing what he loved.

New Photo Header

I created a new photo montage on top, derived from an idea Jim sent me for a blog stamp two years ago. Is it a keeper?