The names of most departments in a company describes the function they perform: engineering builds things, sales sells, marketing markets, maintenance does upkeep, etc. The notable exception is "Human Resources," which describes an attitude towards people. That attitude is: You are only a cog, and is unfortunate because they are able to undermine, in a single interaction, months of agreement building, goodwill and planning.
I've experienced this from both sides of the desk, but most often in the interview cycle. HR departments continue to amaze me with their ability to totally dampen any enthusiasm I had for a job or the company. Director Mitch and I have been exchanging email during the last couple of weeks on our trevails with HR. Since I don't have a blog for this, he's graciously provided a venue, and with his indulgence, I will vent my spleen, gall bladder, liver, and small intestines on some of the interactions I've had.
I heard of a position with Company C, whose product I have used for two years. (For the avoidance of doubt, I will not reuse letters the Director has.) I applied, writing a very thoughtful cover letter tying my experience to their description, highlighting my experience with their product, etc. In short, I was a great match for the job, and had passion for their product.
HR sat on this for a month, ignoring my followup queries. I finally get an email back from the HR Director asking if I'd be interested in discussing the position. We scheduled a phone call that went something like this:
HR: So, what do you know about Company C?
Doctor Bob: Well, as I indicated in my cover letter, I've been a customer for two years. (Detailed example of use of their product offering)
HR: Let me tell you about the position. (Reads the same description text I applied to.) Does this interest you? How do you see your background applying?
Doctor Bob: (I reiterate my cover letter line by line; point out my extensive collection of educational degrees; also add specific high level thoughts on their product line.)
At this point, she asks if I had any questions. I really wanted to ask "are there any pods in your office?" but instead inquired about the process. Not willing to reveal anything, she said she would present this information to the hiring manager and get back to me in a few days.
A week passes, I send a tickler email. No response, so I write this off. Another week passes, and HR sends me email because theyw ant to schedule an interview with two hiring managers, as they have two positions open and think I could be a fit for either. Included with the email are a plethora of background forms, an applications, EEO declaration, non-disclosure agreement, and map to the facility. She doesn't ask, but it's implied that I'm to fill these out.
She fails to supply the promised specific agenda, but I show up at the appointed time and the receptionist scurries to figure out who I was to meet with. I'm relegated to a conference room, where I pass the time reading their press clippings. Twenty minutes later, the receptionist has the names of the hiring managers, and I spend the next two hours meeting with each. The position I applied to is a great fit, and I'm receiving strong buy signals from the hiring manager. The second one isn't a good fit, but provides perspective on Company C's direction, and is not a total loss because I know people I could steer their way. The second hiring manager gives me a tour of the facililty while the receptionist tries to locate the HR manager and ask if she needs to talk with me. She's nowhere to be found, so I leave.
No one's asked me for a signed NDA, which is very surprising since it's almost a given in my industry. They do not ask for (nor do I volunteer) the application or background check.
I don't see any point in pestering my references (whose time I respect) until an offer has been extended. A clean background check (including credit) isn't really going to influence their decision at this point. Would anyone believe them saying "He is exceptionally well-qualified, but I'm concerned that he may have missed a payment on his Chevron card. We should delay moving forward until the credit check comes back!"
Two more weeks pass. HR emails me a response asking for general availability for another round of interviews, but doesn't provide any parameters like "we'd like you to visit all day," so I throw out some dates. This appears to be too computationally intensive for HR to contemplate, and she passes it off to the receptionist, who I'm now on a first name basis with. Lucinda has her act together and provides a schedule, names, and titles of the people I'm to meet with. She also includes the same forms and asks that I have them when I visit.
If the phone screen is a blind date, the third round interview is equivalent to introducting your potential fiancee to your parents. Assuming everything goes as well as expected, someone gets a ring it the end. If it's a disaster, you break up.
During the day, schedules were juggled and I had a half hour sitting in the conference room amusing myself until the last interviewer was available. At some point, the HR director emerged to give me the Information Packet with all the listed benefits and her card. She said things were going well and I could expect to hear from them in two days. She didn't ask for any of the application or background check forms, and once again, I didn't volunteer.
The last interviewer apologized three times for being late. After a couple of questions relating to the job, we spent the rest of the hour chatting about a variety of topics ranging from the New England Patriots to the Mars rover. He had to go to another meeting, and asked Lucinda if I needed to speak to HR again. I didn't, so I was free to go.
I hadn't heard from anyone by the end of last week, and called the hiring manager. I left a voice mail with a lead-in, I said "Oh, I noticed that you all hadn't asked for my forms" and asking her what the next steps were, call me, yatta.
A few hours later, HR sends me an email:
Hi Doctor Bob!
I noticed I didn't receive your application and references etc. I would still like this documentation, can you please send it to me. We will be interviewing for another week plus, before we make further decisions, so please hang in there with me. I will be in touch with regards to the next step.
Translating HR to English, she is saying "You're not our perfect candidate, but we're going to string you along some more until we interview other people. I'd like to get all my forms, though."
Suffice to say, I'm not sending them just yet. The lack of a direct response and inept HR mangling has made me seriously question my interest in working with these people or at this company. I am assuming it's a dead end, but will ping them in a week for closure. Meanwhile, I'm looking elsewhere.
Strangely, this is not the worst story I've had from an HR department. That story comes later this week.