Turf Wars II: The Revenge of the Consultant

Dramatis Personae:

• Director Mitch, a consultant brought into the company to support a new product launch
• Abu, a director of an unrelated product line
• Matt, the recently hired program manager for the new product

The Scene: A meeting room. Players are arranged around the table. White board is on the wall. As the curtain opens, it appears that they are in the middle of a meeting...

Mitch: Look, if this product gets launched, I'll be brought on full time and it's going to be MY ass that's on the line for making or not making the revenue numbers. This means that ALL customer interaction comes through me. Period! (slams hand on table)

Abu: (blanches) But I have a previous relationship with him. We worked together at a company before. Plus, his sister-in-law's brother's cousin is my second niece once removed...

Mitch: Fine. Set up a meeting, bring me along, and we'll transition the relationship for this product over to me. Any other products, I don't care.

Matt: Guys, guys, let's not get too heated here. Abu, Mitch IS responsible for sales and marketing on this product and you really should have sent the lead over to him. But, really, Mitch, if all he did was talk to the guy, it shouldn't be THAT big a deal.

Mitch: Abu already committed to samples.

Matt: WHAT!!

Mitch: Oh, you didn't hear? He committed to supply samples. Of course, the two prototypes we already committed to other customers are months behind schedule. So, Matt, do you have resources to build another prototype?

Matt: You know I don't. All resource allocation issues are supposed to come through me FIRST, so we don't over commit. (Glares at Abu)

Abu: I was only trying to support the customer...

Mitch: Look, Abu, there is a reason we are set up in a certain organizational structure, and its so we CAN support our customers. We don't want to over-commit. We don't want to piss them off. This is why you should send any customer leads for this product through me, and I'll work with Matt to see what we can support them with.

Matt: Right.

Mitch: In addition, *I* drive certain strategic aspects of the program, with conjunction with Matt, of course, so we can provide customers roadmaps, timelines, and other forward looking aspects of the program.

Abu: I understand.

Mitch: Look, you took incentive to support the customer, and that was great. We now need to get a face-to-face meeting over there to let me unwind any commitments we can't make and set realistic expectations. You think you can set up a meeting next week?

Abu: It should not be a problem.

Mitch: Great! You and I will go to there next week. In the mean time Matt, will you work on resource allocation issues to figure out what commitments we can make? You think you can get that to us by next week?

Matt: No problemo. See, I knew we could work it all out. That wasn't so hard, was it?

Mitch: No, Matt, that was a whole lot easier than I thought.

Political Struggles with a Consultant: Like Taking Candy from a Baby

My main consulting gig has been going on for five months now. I am essentially doing marketing and sales for a new product that the company is developing, along with a "special project" associated with said product (more on this at a later date).

I keep being told I will be brought on full time "eventually", but in the mean time they hired a full-time program manager two weeks ago. After his first 24 hours the program manager started staking territory in the strategic and tactical areas that would normally fall under the marketing and sales domain, meaning my domain.

But as I am only a consultant, I had little choice but to give way. I really had no other choice. I have no power base and am by definition "temporary" (they renew my contract month-to-month). I am in no position to start a political struggle with someone who was just brought in full time.

But I am wondering, if I do eventually come on full time, am I making a mistake yielding territory now because I am a consultant? Should I hold my ground? Or should I just wait and fight to take back the lost territory once I am brought on full time and on an level playing field? Any insight from Sun Tsu on this?

Poverty Thought Experiment

I was raised to believe that poverty was the fault of the poor. The purpose of the teaching wasn't to teach contempt for the poor, but to put fear into the young. After all, the underlying message in this teaching was that *I* would be the one living in poverty if I didn't get my ass into gear. After all, I am only two generations removed from extreme poverty, and have first cousins that could charitably be described as "poor white trash".

Now that I am older I still agree with this assessment for 90% of the poor. As George Will wrote recently and was discussed on some of the major sites, there are only a few simple things people have to do to avoid poverty. As quoted on Wizbang:

"...three not-at-all recondite rules for avoiding poverty: Graduate from high school, don't have a baby until you are married, don't marry while you are a teenager. Among people who obey those rules, poverty is minimal."

Other commentators have added a fourth rule: don't get hooked on alcohol or drugs.

I would add: get as much education as possible, in addition to graduate from high school. These won't give you a mansion on the beach, but they'll put a roof over your head and food on the table.

But sometimes I have wondered, could I climb out of "poverty" today if I started over with nothing? It's sort of like the question: how long could you survive if you were dropped naked into the middle of the jungle? So here is my thought experiment (gedanken) which could also be a reality TV show:

• I am dropped in the middle of a random city with only the clothes on my back and $10 in my pocket.

• I could not use family, friends, contacts or anyone else who knew me for help, references, money or any other means of support. I was to be starting 100% from scratch, having just fallen out of the sky.

• I could not have access to any assets whatsoever. I would have no credit, but I would also have no bad credit. Assume I got assigned a brand new social security number with no baggage good or bad attached to it; a clean slate.

• I could not allude to or say I had any education beyond what is free to everyone living in the U.S. today: a high-school diploma.
  
  

So starting completely from scratch and only $10 in my pocket, where would I be in one year?

My answer is this: I would not be poor. I would not be homeless. I would not be on government assistance. Sure, my standard of living might be pretty darn low, but I would not be some welfare case sitting around waiting for the government to "do something" about poverty. Within ten years I think I could be back in the middle class, and eventually climb back up to where I am today.

And if you think this scenario is far fetched, it is almost exactly the situation Mrs. Director's grandparents were in when they stepped off a boat into this country in 1950. Except they had more education they could point to, but with the trade off being they didn't speak the language.

Mrs. Director's grandfather died a rich man.

Where would you be in a year? If your answer is "not poor", then whose fault is it for people who are poor?

Fiction, Sort Of

Lin took a drag on his cigarette as he watched the American exit the main terminal. Even from 30 meters away he could tell he was an American; he might as well have planted a flag on the top of his head. The clothing, the walk. The girth was usually a dead give-away, but this one didn’t have the usual gut hanging over his belt. Maybe he was on that low-carb diet that was the rage in America.

Lin quickly put out his cigarette. Some Americans were rabid anti-smokers, so he didn’t allow his American fares see him smoke, and he definitely never lit up in the car, no matter whom he was driving.

The American got close enough for Lin to see the jet lag hanging on him like a physical weight. From the looks of him he was in his early 30s. He didn’t have the gray hair and entourage of an executive, nor the tennis shoes and awkwardness of an engineer. This was clue number one.

“May I take your bag, sir?” Lin asked in slightly accented English. The American gave him his suitcase but kept a death grip on his computer bag. Like it wouldn’t be safe in the trunk? Typical. Lin opened the back door and allowed his charge to get inside. He started the large Mercedes engine and sped away from the airport.

“Did you have a nice flight?” The Americans were sometimes chatty. The Japanese on the other hand, would never stoop to talk to a driver. Especially a Taiwanese one.

“Yes, thank-you,” was the reply from the back seat.

“Is this your first time to Taiwan?” He also found that engaging an American in conversation usually ended up in a tip, even though tipping wasn’t practiced on this side of the world.

“Oh, no. I have been here many, many times.” A veteran. No tip from this fare. And another clue. Lin merged onto the freeway for the 45 minute drive to the hotel and turned on some quiet music. From his mirror he could see the American looking out the window. This one wasn’t sleeping, so he might as well talk some more.

“Will you be in the country long?”

“Through Saturday.” This was clue number three.

“If you have some free time, the building next door to your hotel is currently the tallest building in the world. They have an observation deck that has a great view.”

“Really? That will definitely be something to do when I have time to kill.”

When Lin asked his father-in-law to borrow money to buy the big black Mercedes, he at first got ridiculed. “What makes you think you can make money driving gweilos around? Are you such a good driver?”

“What I am is a good study of people. That is why I will be successful.” He also spoke pretty good English, a pathway to success on this island, but he wasn’t going to bring that one up. His father-in-law was a little old fashioned and still pissed off about being chased off the Mainland. In the end, though, he loaned him the money.

So he learned how to spot his fares, how to treat them, what to say, what pitfalls to avoid. The Americans were the most obvious to spot, the easiest to ply. The Europeans were fewer in number, but easy to identify in their non-matching clothing and vaguely effeminate mannerisms. The Japanese? They acted as if they still owned the island.

He spent the next half hour chatting with the American, making him feel comfortable. Once he was getting close to the hotel, he started his up-sale that would also yield the final clue: “Will you be needing a driver during your stay?”

“Actually, I will need one tomorrow and probably later in the week. You available?”

The American didn’t ask the price, allowing Lin to put together the complete picture: an American salesman on an expense account, the best fares to have. “Yes, sir. I’ll give you my card and make arrangements with the hotel concierge when we arrive. For your convenience, the charge can be added to your hotel bill.” What Lin didn’t mention is that the charge was at a much higher rate than what the American could get by finding a driver on his own. And the American wouldn’t care.

“Excellent.”

And all it took was a few innocuous questions and observations to make tomorrow’s revenue double what he usually made. His father-in-law had no clue.

iPod Nano: 10,000+ Miles and No Problems

Reader Jim sends in the following link from a website that is complaining about cracking screens on iPod Nanos and wonders if I am having any problems.

I took the Nano to Asia and back and used it extensively on the plane, had it in my pocket as I deplaned and whatever word is used for getting on the plane (inplaned?), and stored it in a pocket of my computer bag at all other times. With all this heavy travel I have not had any major problems.

That is not to say that it is perfect. Here are my complaints so far:

• Surface Easy to Scratch - While I don't have the severe problems listed in the website above, there are a few light scratches, although these can only be seen if held at an angle to the light and aren't too severe. While I understand that electronic components will show a little wear and tear, it does seem they should have put a more scratch-resistant material on a portable product like this.

• Sky-High Accessories - One of the solutions to protecting the body from scratches is to get an iPod Nano "sleeve" which puts a clear or colored protective case over the Nano. These probably cost a few pennies to make in China, but I have to shell out $30 for five. The same economics are used for the arm-band, which will set me back another $30. So for a few plastic coverings and a leather thingy to exercise with, I am spending nearly 25% of what I originally paid for the Nano in the fist place. I understand that Apple has to make money, but these sort of margins are a little ridiculous. While this will leave room for entrepreneurs to exploit, early adopters like me have little choice.

• Not Enough Memory - I knew this going into the deal, but 4 Gigs holds a only fraction of my library, and I would ideally like to synch everything on my PC to the Nano. I just had to have the small size and weight for international travel, so is something I have to live with.

But even with these complaints, I have to say I am thrilled with the product. It is the perfect size and weight, and if they correct these few items, I would go from thrilled to ecstatic. I will, however, keep an eye on developments on the cracked screen problem since this looks like it could turn into a major issue for some users.

Jetlagged Thoughts

As I sit here at home trying to stay awake in order to get back on PDT, here are some of the random thoughts going through my jetlagged brain:

• Don't Get Stuck with Free Time in Taiwan - While being stuck in Hong Kong is fun, I can't say the same of Taiwan. There just isn't as much to do there and it isn't quite as easy to get around. There are some night markets that are pretty neat, but that isn't helpful when you have an afternoon to kill.

• Airplane Movies Are Good Only When You Haven't Seen Them - When I used to travel overseas a lot, I didn't rent recent movies so I would have something new to watch on the plane. Since it looks like I will be in heavy travel mode once again, it looks like I will have to re-start this policy. That and bring some Netflix movies along.

• Mr. And Mrs. Smith Was Better Than I Thought - This was one of the movies-I-haven't-seen that was on the plane, and it was a lot better than I thought it would be. In fact, I liked it a lot. It helped that Angelina Jolie is, well, really hot. Maybe Brad wasn't so stupid to dump Jennifer Aniston.

• Driving a Car is Strange After a Week of Not Driving - Every time I go overseas it means that I am not behind the wheel of a car for week or two. And coming back and driving after a week or two off is actually a little strange.

• Jetlag Sucks - Self explanatory.

"Find the Umbrella" and Other Expense Statement Stories

A guy I worked with was on a business trip to London. It was pouring down rain one day so he bought an umbrella to get his business done and duly put the item on his expense statement when he got back to the States.

His statement got bounced back with a friendly note from the trolls in accounting: "Personal items cannot be expensed." Roger thought about explaining the situation - the umbrella was a business expense after all - but decided it wasn't worth it. He redid his expense statement without the umbrella, but it magically came out to the exact same amount as before. He wrote a note back to accounting: "Find the umbrella." He got reimbursed the full amount without any more hassle.

This true story shows a well known fact about expense statements: they're easy to pad. Almost ridiculously so. But we're talking penny-ante amounts of money.

In my experience most people pad, but usually for reimbursing themselves for something that is not reimbursable like the umbrella above. Another reason is for the inevitable amounts of money that leak out of the pocket while traveling. For example, traveling in Tokyo requires cash for taxis, subways, trains, and other modes of transportation that usually don't issue receipts. A lot of people I know just throw $10 into a random lunch they didn't pay for instead of tracking $2 every time they step on the subway. Even doing this most people still end up behind. I know every single time I travel overseas I end up spending money out of my own pocket due to things like this.

But there is padding in order to try to keep ahead of minor expenses, and there is padding in order to pilfer money. And the fact that Intel just fired a bunch of people for expense statement issues shows that the issue in this case is pilfering rather than balance. At least I hope so. I would hate to think that Intel is so small as to fire people for expensing an umbrella.

Science Proves that CEOs Really Are Crazy

Reader Manu, now added to the blogroll, sends in the following link verifying my post that CEOs really are crazy:

A team of U.S. scientists has found the emotionally impaired are more willing to gamble for high stakes and that people with brain damage may make good financial decisions.

Makes sense to me.

Some Observations on HK

• $25 for a Coffee!? - Yeah, Starbucks are everywhere in HK and I had to have my fix. But when the Barista told me my Grande coffee was $25, I thought I was transported to the U.S. year 2020 when a Grande coffee really will cost that much. Fortunately he was asking for Hong Kong Dollars. Still, that is a $3+ Grande coffee, which is more than the insane airport pricing.

• Dividing by 7.7 is a bitch - What a hard conversion ratio for currency! I ended up guestimating by knocking off a decimal and rounding up ($245 HK would become 24.5 rounded up to $30 U.S., which is close to the real value of $31.8), but thankfully every single vendor in the place has a calculator handy for conversions as well as negotiations (the buyer and the vendor punch in the ask and bid numbers into the calculator during the negotiation process)

• Negotiate, Negotiate, Negotiate - I never bought anything right away, but instead asked questions and looked interested, got a price, and then started walking out of the store. Each step towards the exit got the price knocked down a notch. Then we went to the calculator. Little Mrs. Director's gift ended up at 50% of the original asking price. Mrs. Director's gift...well, I am going to leave that as a surprise for now.

• Sushi, Sake, Cigars - HK has to be the only city that has a sushi restaurant that has a cigar bar. Or maybe it was a cigar bar that serves sushi. Whatever the case, this is gastronomic nirvana in my book, and I am thankful I ran across it (and we are talking, of course, about real Cuban cigars). It's called Times Restaurant and is on the street directly behind the Time Square Shopping Mall.

• Shoppers Paradise - Mrs. Director thinks I don't like buying things. This really isn't true. I don't like buying things when I have to pay more than I think the item is worth, which is pretty much 95% of all items sold in the U.S. In HK, however, bargains are everywhere, and haggling is an accepted practice, so it is pretty amazing the values one can pick up here. The only thing I didn't pick up during this trip was some custom tailored clothes, but you need something on the order of two days to get a good fitting and get the items returned to you. And I don't have that much time here.

There are Worse Places to be Stuck

I've made up Asian holidays before in order to squirm my way out of customer commitments. This time a real Asian holiday screwed up my travel plans, and I am an experienced enough traveler to be a little embarrassed about it.

In order to get into Mainland China, American travelers need a visa. These are usually applied for before leaving the states and take 2-3 days to get turned around. However, for those who are forced to make last minute travel arrangements (which I had to because the CEO kept changing the schedule), there is an expedited, same-day visa application that you can do at the Hong Kong airport.

Since I was forced to leave the U.S. without a visa in hand, my plans were to:

• Get to the Hong Kong airport from Taipei at 8:30 in the morning.
• Drop off my visa application by 9am in the morning
• Get my visa back by 3pm that same day, and head into the city for some shopping while I waited.
• Take a flight to Shanghai that evening (they have an hourly shuttle and I could have just hopped on the one that is most convenient at 6pm, 7pm, 8pm, etc.)

I thought this was a pretty good plan, and one that many business travelers have done before. But I didn't know that today is the Chinese Mid Autumn Moon Festival, so there is no one around to process my visa application (ironically, the holiday I made up in the above link was the Buddha Harvest Moon Festival, which I made up based on holidays I really knew about over here).

At any rate it means that I am stuck in HK for 24 hours. And if one has to be stuck in any city in Asia, this is definitely the one to be in.

That's the Star Ferry in the background, which I took from the 5-star hotel I put myself in while I am stuck here (it's a tax write-off for business, you know).

I Don't Blog from Dictatorships

I am actually posting this from "Good" China (i.e. Taiwan) since I am not going to post while in Red China.

Part of this is because I am staying a good 2 hours outside Shanghai where the factory I am visiting is located, which I expect is a new concrete building out in the middle of nowhere surrounded by rice patties and farms. So I expect hotel internet access - and possibly running water - to be an impossible luxury.

The other reason is that China is still run by Godless commie bastards that might throw me out of the country just for writing this very sentence. So I think it would be best that I not blog from there, or even hit my own web site should I happen to get internet access while over there.

If anything interesting happens there I'll write about it when I get to a free country.

Visiting the World's Tallest Building

Coming to Asia is a tough job. I have to dine potential clients, drink ridiculous amounts of liquor, and find ways to kill time in exotic cities with the extra time that inevitably comes up. It's a tough job, but someone has to do it.

Today my little group found itself with a few hours to kill between appointments, and conveniently enough, the World's Tallest Building, Taiwan 101, is across the street from our hotel. So up we went, over a third of a mile up:

The experience isn't any different from being on the top of a mountain, except I have to admit that looking straight down is pretty interesting. The conversation inevitably turns to the same topics in these situations: had anyone parachuted off of it, had anyone committed suicide by jumping off of it, and, of course, whether a penny dropped from this height would kill someone.

And while I can go around and smugly claim that "I have been at the top of the World's Tallest Building", I won't be able to say it for very long. There are several buildings proposed for completion in the next few years will surpass this one, so I will inevitably have to find time to kill in another city to keep my claim.

I R.O.C.

Here I am in the Republic of China - that's Taiwan to you and me. I have had about 2.5 hours of sleep in the last 28 hours, the last few of which was spent at a dinner meeting with two CEOs.

After dinner the American CEO who is paying my consulting bills asked me my "expert opinion" of what the Taiwan CEO "really was thinking" throughout the dinner conversation.

And my answer was...

Wait, why am I telling you? This was my PAID opinion, so if you want to know, you have to send me some cash.

Boingo: Incompetent Idiots

Who wrote the business plan for Boingo? Whoever it was is a complete moron.

Boingo is the only internet access available in the United Lounge at LAX. So United also sucks for not providing a free internet connection in its lounge like 99% of their competitors.

So Boingo is it if you have a few hours to kill in United’s lounge after paying a few thousand bucks for an international business class ticket. If this is the only option available, I don’t mind paying for a few hours access while waiting for a plane, but Boingo and United don’t even provide this as an option.

Boingo gives you one option and one option only: sign up for monthly access with automatic billing each month. That’s it. No other choices.

Perhaps the marketing idiots there don’t realize that some of us don’t travel often enough to sign up for monthly internet access. Perhaps they don’t realize that other lounges provide this service for free. Perhaps they don’t realize that practically every other company on the planet sells internet access by the hour.

I hope the morons at Boingo suffer large market share losses, lose tons of money and ignominiously lose their jobs. There is no excuse for this type of market cluelessness.


Editor’s Note: Mitch denies that WIFI is a drug and that he was going through withdraw while he wrote this off-line while having no internet access at LAX.

The End of the Revolution or Just The Beginning?

In response to a request that I blog while Mr. Director is travelling and working (ahem) in Asia, I have agreed to keep the blog entries going.

My thoughts today surround the events of the last week in Ukraine. The dismissal by President Yuschenko of his entire cabinet strikes me as a bold move that sends mixed messages to the world about how the Orange Revolution is fairing in Ukraine. On the one hand it demonstrates a lot of guts and determination to rid the government of opportunitstic oligarchs and protect the regime from developing a reputation similar to that of the one before it. On the other hand it implies that the unity of the parties who successfully won the last election (and the hearts and minds of the people) was not what it appeared to be. I will not re-hash the current issues - you can read about them here: http://orangeukraine.squarespace.com/.

Though the accusations are wild and the stability of the government and its readiness to complete its transition to a democracy appears to be in question, I feel that this is part of the natural process (if there is one) of moving from a communist and corrupt system to a democratic one. Much like becoming a parent for the first time, no one really knows what to do. As a global society, we are unclear on the formula for making this transition successfully - why it works in some places but not in others.

My sense is that it takes at least as long to build a successful system as it took to destroy it. Seventy five years of the ruination of a people - criminal, cultural and economic - does not heal in 14 years or with one election. Especially when there has been no closure and no accountability (such as we had with the Nuremberg Trials and as we are now seeing in Iraq).

The one thing I am sure about is that the musings of some that the only way for Ukraine to stand on her own to feet is with outside help is a stretch. There are people currently arguing that the failure of Brussels to step in and make serious moves with Ukraine on the subject of EC integration has left her floundering in ex-communist/oligarchic politics as usual. Though it is a valid concern and certainly would not hurt, I place the responsibility for this transition squarely on Ukraine and its people.

Perhaps the coming anniversary of the revolution will bring the politicians to their senses. The spirit of the people is in the right place. Now we just need the leadership to get there.

Always Travel with the CEO

My main client is sending me to Asia this week, so posting will be sporadic for the next 9-10 days as I head across the Pacific. I'll post when I get to these exotic places, so you'll know where I end up.

My client's policy is that all employees - and consultants whom they buy plane tickets for - must travel coach. However, this policy doesn't apply to the CEO, who gets to travel business class. Since I am going with the CEO on this trip, and since I convinced his admin that it is important that we discuss weighty issues during the 10+ hours in the air, I managed to get approval to travel business class with the CEO.

It's like the old saying: You don't need to be rich, you just need to have rich friends. In this case it is just changed slightly: You don't need to be the CEO, you just need to hang out with him.

In addition to my business class seat with almost full recline, I will also have my new iPod Nano with the Pacific-busting 14 hour battery life and my Bose noise cancellation headphones (Mrs. Director is good to me - for some reason I can't fathom). So my trip will at least be comfortable.

A Silicon Oasis in the Middle East?

I work in the semiconductor industry and didn't know that Dubai was attempting to create a tech center similar to Taiwan or China:

Launched in January 2004, DSO (Dubai Silicon Oasis) aims to offer an alternative to high-cost semiconductor development through its business ready infrastructure that utilizes regional talent, financial incentives and subsidies on EDA tools and technology, so that companies can quickly set up shop for accelerated time to market of their electronic products.

This would put a tech center right in the middle of the Arabian Peninsula. I think this is a good sign since this sort of development needs educated individuals, open trade, and close ties to companies that are in capitalistic, pro-West countries (Chinese companies do business at home and are not a potential market for this center).

If successful, I also think it could lead to another type of openness since the closest country with similar expertise and even potential clients is Israel, which has a very well developed technical and semiconductor fabrication center (Silicon Kibbutz?).

Maybe that is an optimistic thought, but there have been rumors that UAE and Israel are attempting to establish diplomatic ties, although they keep being scuttled, largely due to pressure from other Muslim countries. Maybe this business initiative will be one of the things that puts it over the top.

Crazy CEOs

Actually, the title is tautologous (and repetitive) since I have come to the conclusion that all CEOs are crazy. And I have the data to back it. In my 16 years of working I have had the dubious honor of running into quite a few CEOs, and this seems to be the one common trait among all of them.

Note that I am not saying that the CEOs in my sample were weren't effective or successful or smart. They were usually all three. But I found out that all of them have a different view of reality than the rest of the world, and a different thought process to go along with it. And at the end of the day, that is what the definition of crazy is.

Actually, I have concluded from my experiences that one has to be somewhat crazy to be a CEO. Because everyone else knows what the company's resources are for what can and can't be done, what is possible to promise customers and Wall Street, how to treat people like fellow human beings, and that the world doesn't revolve around their own schedule. But CEOs have none of this conventional thinking, and maybe this is what enables them to push companies and people to do more than they think they are capable of.

An Anniversary of a Different Sort

I have had a few good natured posts this week about my wedding anniversary, which, although not for another week, Mrs. Director and I celebrated last night (you find that once you become a parent the babysitter's schedule becomes more important than the actual date).

Of course today is an anniversary of a different sort, the forth year after 9-11. While this date will always be the younger generations' version of "What were you doing when Kennedy was shot", it seems that the scope and magnitude of the event has already faded from the American phsyche. This has probably happened for a number of reasons: the simple passage of time, the fact that there has not been another attack on American soil since then, and other events taking mindshare, such as this year's Katrina.

These are all natural things to happen, I just hope that it doesn't once again make America complacent. There are people out there who, every day, try to think of ways to kill Americans just for being Americans. And no policy decision or change this country could make - short of converting to Sharia - would change these people's goals. And if people forget about 9-11, they should try to remember that.

Anniversary Milestone Gifts

Everyone knows that the 50th anniversary is the "Golden" anniversary and that the 25th is the "Silver" anniversary. But did you know that nearly every year has some sort of designation for it?

There is actually a "Traditional" list and a "Modern" list, the latter obviously put together with the help of retailers and consumer goods manufacturers.

Some of them are pretty funny. For example, nothing says I love you after four years than a new dishwasher? And the modern 9th year is pretty appropriate for re-energizing things in the bedroom.

Mrs. Director and I try to go by this list - Traditional or Modern - but are allowed to expand the definition from what the gift is, to a theme.

For example, for our first anniversary I got her a very nice Mont Blanc pen - which writes on paper, of course. For our second anniversary she got me a new addition to my currency collection, since, as everyone knows, "paper" currency is made mostly of cotton.

And this year? Well, everyone knows that copper is used for wiring in consumer electronics, and there are definitely traces of copper in my Ipod nano, so it conforms to the list.

Thank-You Mrs. Director

My hint about the iPod nano came through. I am the first kid on my block to get one (I actually stood in line for a few minutes at the local Apple store this morning with a handful of other geeks waiting for the store to open - but the present is still from Mrs. Director for our anniversary).

Wow - this is a way cool gadget. We are talking a fraction of the size of my original 2nd generation iPod from nearly three years ago. The best part is the battery life is something like 14 hours - enough to entertain me on a flight over the Pacific, which my old iPod could not do.

I hate to say it, but Jobs made a bunch of money off our household as we keep going out and buying the latest generation iPod:

So Mrs. Director is on deck for whatever iPod comes out next, which I suppose will be the iPod Femto. Actually, what is likely going to happen is that she will end up in possession of my nano, which means that I will have to go out and buy a second nano for me - but I'll get the white one we don't mix the two up.

Remember All Your Benefits When Terminating

When I was laid off from my job in April, I took my own advice on negotiating my departure package: I asked for time to go through everything and negotiated the severance package covering (I thought) everything:

• Salary Continuance
• Health/Dental Insurance
• Child Care Reimbursement Account (to make sure I got all funds out)
• 401K (to last as long as salary continuance)
• Employee Stock Purchase Plan (to be able to finish current term)
• Unemployment Insurance Eligibility (although not eligible while earning big-time consulting $)
• Stock Options (were WAY out of the money, so expired worthless and not a big deal)

But I forgot one thing - and it cost me: 401K matching funds.

I finally got around to rolling my old 401K into an IRA this week, and nearly $2,000 didn't transfer. When I raised hell about where my money was, the 401K manager calmly told me that the matching funds vested at 33% a year. Since I was with the company just over a year, two thirds of the 401K matching was not "vested", so no longer my money.

An expensive lesson, but I'm still even. When I terminated, my manager forgot about my company laptop and never asked me to turn it in. So my former company's IBM T41 is what I am using right now type this blog entry.

A Cure for the Seven Year Itch?

Mrs. Director and I will be celebrating our seventh wedding anniversary in 12 days. I don't know anything about the legendary seven year itch, but I do know that I would be a happy man if I had a new Apple iPod Nano as an anniversary gift (hint, hint, hint).

Update: Gizmodo claims that with the arrival of the nano, that the iPod mini has been killed off.

Another Employee Perk Being Cut

I've discussed before how stock option plans were being eliminated for rank-and-file workers by a Congress that passed shoddy legislation in a rush to "prevent another Enron."

It turns out that stock options are not the only perk being cut. Employee Stock Purchase Plans (ESPPs) are also being cut thanks to a new FASB rule that was enacted after the Enron debacle. From the WSJ (paid link):

Traditionally, Employee Stock Purchase Plans have given workers a chance to buy company stock at a 15% discount...This is changing, however, as regulators move to tighten accounting rules in the wake of Enron, WorldCom and other corporate scandals. That means that discounts on most stock-purchase plans, like stock-option grants, must now be treated as an expense.

(To date) About 15% of companies have eliminated the look-back feature, 7% have eliminated the discount, and 5% have eliminated the whole plan..."

Thanks, Congress. These rules will do nothing to prevent what happened at Enron or WorldCom, but they will certainly take money out of the pockets of the non-executive ranks. And the "C-Level" executives will still get tons of stock grants, options and other perks in the millions of dollars, so these rules will also do nothing in terms of lowering executive compensation.

An Idle Thought

If When they rebuild New Orleans, shouldn't they call the city New New Olreans?

A Guilty Labor Day

The U.S. has a lot of "pretend" places modeled on real historic places. Just within a few blocks of Las Vegas is a fake Egyptian Pyramid and a fake Roman Forum. They are idyllic models of the real places, with the warts removed and souvenirs added.

And there is a pretend New Orleans - right in the heart of Disney Land, and probably my favorite place in the park.

As I strolled with my family through the fake New Orleans on Friday, I couldn't help wonder if, like the places in Vegas, this would be the only way to experience the city any more; if the three-quarters scale buildings, the live Disney Jazz bands, and Pirates of the Caribbean would be the only New Orleans future generations would ever know.

So as I enjoyed the holiday weekend with my family I felt a pang of guilt that I was enjoying myself while so many fellow Americans were still suffering. And the sad irony wasn't lost on me that I was having fun in a clean, sanitized New Orleans while the real one was still under 20 feet of water.

Christmas in September

Costco already has the Christmas crap out: trees, lights, toys, Santas.

It's September 1.

All The Trappings, None of the Benefits

For my main consulting gig, I now have the following:

- A corporate email with my_name@my_client.com
- Business cards with my client's logo and address, my new email, and my cellphone number
- Two overseas business trips planned for the next 30 days in which I am representing my client.

But I am still a "consultant". However, things do seem to be moving forward. The VP I report to asked me to update my resume for presentation to one of the other VPs, so I am assuming this is to get final approval in the next 30 days to bring be on "officially".

Thursday Hurricane Relief Blogging

Today has been designated a "Blogburst" for Hurricane Relief by He Who Needs No Links, so this is my contribution to the effort.

I have no personal connection to New Orleans, but it has a significant place in my family history: it is the place where my great-great grandfather landed in 1855 when he immigrated from Germany. As the first U.S. city my ancestors set foot upon when they came to this great country, it is a place I want to help rebuild. And I want to help my fellow Americans who have lost everything - my jaw just drops as I see the damage along the Louisiana and Mississippi coasts.

My personal charity of choice will be Catholic Charities, but it is only one of literally dozens of relief organizations helping in the effort. So find one you like from the Blogburst link above or FEMA's list.