Drive-Thru Starbucks

Running around Chicago's western suburbs today I came across my first drive-thru Starbucks. It's about the size of a large photo-mat and has absolutely no tables inside or out.

This makes a lot of sense to me for heavy traffic areas, and is a better idea than some of the stupid marketing tricks the company is trying, but this type of store does goes against the "experience thing" that Starbucks is trying to achieve.

This is the first and only one I have seen. Is this place unique or has anyone seen any more out there?

Female-Male Translation: Getting Ready

As I enter the second half of my forth decade, I am finding that I am finally starting to understand female speech. It has taken years of hard work, and I have yet to find a "Rosetta Stone", but I am making slow and steady progress.

Here is what I have so far for "Getting Ready":

I'll be ready in an hour - Start a movie, preferably an epic like "Ben Hur" or "Gladiator". You got two hours, minimum, my friend.

I only have to do my hair and make-up - You have time for a major task. I prefer to take my car to a local Jiffy Lube for an oil change and brake check. I get back before she finishes her mascara.

I'm putting on my clothes now - This one is variable, depending on her closet size and number of accessories, as she will be trying on every piece of clothing she owns. Unfortunately you won't be able to do anything else since you will have to sit around dispensing advice (hint: answer "no" when asked "does this make me look fat?")

I'm ready! - You got 15 more minutes. I have yet to figure this one out. I will see a fully coiffed, made-up and clothed female and will go out and get the car started, and sit there 15 minutes before she exits the front door. This is one mystery I don't think I will figure out.

One Death that Saddens Me - During A Week of Thousands

I really got into Law & Order for the six months I was unemployed and Briscoe was definitely my favorite character. So I was saddened to learn of the death of Jerry Orbach to prostate cancer (hat tip: Mark the Pundit).

This during a week where the death toll in Asia will probably be in the six figures by this weekend. I just can't wrap my brain around the number. I sit slack-jawed in front of the TV trying to comprehend the size of this disaster and nothing computes. For some reason seeing a video of 100 bodies lined up on some shoreline hits me harder than seeing the number "70,000".

When Stalin stated his maxim about the death of thousands being a statistic, I always thought that he was being cynical, but maybe the bastard was onto something about the human mind's inability to grasp death on such a large scale.

Is It Okay To Be Happy Someone Died?

Good Mitch: Hmm, it says here that Susan Sontag died...

Bad Mitch: About time. I hope that bitch rots in hell.

GM: That's not very nice! That sort of thinking is really beneath you!

BM: Is it? Do you think that all people deserve to live?

GM: No, I don't. I have no qualms dealing out death to murderers, rapists and child molesters, and all Enemies of the State.

BM: You're about 40 years behind on that middle one.

GM: Call me old fashioned.

BM: So if she fell into one of those categories, you would celebrate her death?

GM: Yep. I cheer whenever Texas executes another murderer, or one of our boys in Iraq kill a few dozen more "insurgents". Unfortunately there has not been an execution for rape or child molestation during my lifetime, so that's one thing those Muslims do right.

BM: Sontag was an Enemy of the State.

GM: Look, I disagreed with her political views, but different voices are needed in a democratic republic...

BM: She wasn't a voice of dissent. She was a voice that called out for the destruction of U.S. society. If it were up to her she would have totally obliterated a middle class white boy like yourself and anyone like you. She supported America's enemies and cheered them on. She called terrorists who slaughtered two thousand fellow Americans "heros" while denigrating those who take up arms to defend our country:

Where is the acknowledgment that this was not a "cowardly" attack on "civilization" or "liberty" or "humanity" or "the free world" but an attack on the world's self-proclaimed superpower, undertaken as a consequence of specific American alliances and actions? How many citizens are aware of the ongoing American bombing of Iraq? And if the word "cowardly" is to be used, it might be more aptly applied to those who kill from beyond the range of retaliation, high in the sky, than to those willing to die themselves in order to kill others.

GM: Look, you make a good point, but I can't say I am happy she died.

BM: No?

GM: No. I am sad she is dead since she can't suffer even more pain from the cancer that inflicted her.

BM: I guess we will just have to agree to disagree on this one...

Memo to Boomers: Move On

One of the interesting things about living in someone else's household for a few days is seeing television shows you wouldn't normally watch. So after hearing about how great ADM and the Pew Foundation is for donating to PBS (who says PBS doesn't have commercials?), I got to watch PBS's Newshour with Jim Lehrer (when is he going to retire like his former partner?).

The news program itself wasn't bad - it was certainly better than CNN. What got my eyes rolling was the awful "essay" by Anne Taylor Flemming on some museum exhibit on "California and the Vietnam War" (link to museum - transcript not yet on-line).

On a day when over 24,000 people were killed in a single natural catastrophe she blathers on about a war that killed about double that many Americans over 30 years ago. But the essay wasn't about them - it was about her. She excitedly explained that she was in college at the time and how "Vietnam was a defining event". She pointed out the exhibit was certainly worth seeing since California was the center of the entire anti-war movement (I didn't realize that Kent State was in the Golden State).

She then drones on for five minutes about a museum exhibit that no one will see but bored retirees and local school children forced to attend by their left-wing teachers. She was bemused that the Vietnamese that now live in the State pressured the exhibit to show their side of the story. It was too bad that something had to take the focus off the aging protestors' finest hours.

The essay was really a self-parody of a self-indulgent boomer who is unable to talk about anything other than herself. The Vietnam Protests may be her defining moment, but she needs to realize most of America doesn't care.

Poaching the Internet

My wife's grandmother doesn't have WIFI, but one of her neighbors apparently does. Does this constitute "stealing" internet? I do have some rules in this situation in that I won't do any major uploading or downloading, so no work email (I get lots of attachments that are many megabytes large). So this means I can do lite internet cruising at "home" and work email at Starbucks.

To whomever is granting me this free access: Thanks!

The Aviator: A Good Christmas Vacation Escape

Mrs. Director, her cousins and I went to the mall in 17 degree weather (I'm in Chicago) to catch a movie. It was basically a way to get out of the house and away from the "adults" - an event that has been a Christmas tradition for me for almost 30 years (at 36 I still don't think of myself as an adult).

Each of us wanted to see something different and we finally agreed on The Aviator, which was Mrs. Director's first pick. Not reading a single review I had no idea what to expect and was pleasantly surprised.

A strong story and cast make it a compelling movie. I knew bits and pieces about Hughes' life, but I had no clue he had a thing with Katherine Hepburn, and it was little things like this that helped make the movie interesting (Cate Blanchett did a great job as Hepburn). The action and aviation sequences are exciting, but don't take up too much of the movie, which focuses mainly on drama.

I think Scorsese could have cut about 15-20 minutes out of the middle since he seemed to belabor a lot of points (Okay, Martin, we get the fact that Howard had a screw loose). But the overall movie was entertaining and worth a theater ticket.

Four out of five stars from the Director.

Working Over Christmas Vacation

I'm sneaking in a blog entry before the New Year even though I said I wouldn't.

I am on vacation for 11 days, but brought my computer with me and am sitting in a Starbucks doing email (and blogging) since business doesn't stop when I do. Part of this is because I deal a lot with Asian customers and factories which, while they might close on Christmas day, don't have the long shutdowns and vacations that are common in the U.S. (they do that during "holidays" like Buddha's Harvest Moon Festival). So I have received 60-70 emails every day this week - including today on Christmas eve - that demand my attention.

So yesterday I emailed everyone a schedule of my "working vacation" days and my "vacation vacation days", which delineates the days I am really on vacation versus vacation days when I will do email and phone calls (I had a 20 minute call with one of my engineers just yesterday).

Am I upset about working over my vacation? Not really. After spending a few hours with 40 relatives running around my wife's grandmother's house and other general holiday craziness, "I'm going to Starbucks to do email" is actually a good excuse to get out of the house and away from everyone for a little while.

The other issue is preventing email from stacking up - which Techdirt notes is another reason people do email over the holidays. If I get ~70 emails a day, two weeks of email stacking up makes for a big headache.

Merry Christmas to All...

Job, family and personal demands are all taking an enormous amount of my time, so I am signing off until probably New Years or so. So everyone have a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year.

ROTK Extended Edition (Contains Spoilers)

I picked up the Return of the King Extended Edition (which I will call "EE") while picking up a few things at Costco. The Mrs. and I watched most of it last night and I finished it this morning (it runs over four hours). Here are a few of my observations on some - but not all - of the additional scenes:

Saruman at Ornthac - This is probably the most famous scene in the EE since it was discussed so much when it was taken out of the original (without it, it removes Christopher Lee from the movie entirely). I think it is the best additional scene to the EE. It was interesting that both Saruman and Wormtongue are killed in this scene the same way as they were in the book - except it takes place here instead of at the Scouring of the Shire, which doesn't exist in the movie at all.

Extra Footage at Osgiliath - Made this battle scene much more interesting. Actually, I liked all the additional scenes from all the battles, so won't list them separately.

Bunch of Stuff on The Paths of the Dead - Jackson was right to edit them out, although I did laugh at Gimli blowing away the ghosts when they approached him.

Corsairs - I thought the way the original handled the Corsairs was more dramatic since it made for a surprise when they arrived at Gondor. However, the additional scene does have Peter Jackson in a cameo.

Additional Faramir Scenes - There was a very moving/sad scene between Denethor and Faramir where Denethor thinks he sees Boromir standing behind Faramir. There is also a scene between Pippin and Faramir which I thought was good.

Confrontation between Gandalf and the Witch King - This sort of happens in the book (if I remember correctly) right inside the gates of Gondor, which is almost how it is staged here. I liked the flaming sword, but I thought the scene made Gandalf look really weak in comparison to the Witch King.

Eowyn on the Battlefield - Like fighting the Witch King wasn't enough, she had to fight the orc chieftain. I thought this detracted from the dramatic confrontation between her and the Witch King, so was best left out.

Houses of the Healing Music Video - I do liked how this explained the relationship development between Eowyn and Faramir better, but putting it to music didn't work for me.

Frodo and Sam in the Orc Army - This was in the book, so I really liked it. Mrs. Director thought it was a waste of screen time since it didn't develop the plot.

Mouth of Sauron - I read the Trilogy more than half a dozen times before I even heard of Peter Jackson, so I am more of a purist than most people. This may be way I was I so disappointed in this scene. The book clearly states that The Mouth was human, but here he is an extra from the movie Hellraiser. Besides that, the whole scene didn't work (Aragorn killing someone under a flag of truce?)

There is much more since these are only a handful of scenes from 50 minutes of additional footage. While I seem to dismiss more than praise the additional scenes I reviewed, from a holistic standpoint I enjoyed the longer version of the movie quite a bit and highly recommend it.

Amazon: Good for When You're Not in a Hurry

First, let me say that I am a fan of Amazon. According to Microsoft Money I have spent $1004.77 there in 2004 (over half was for the electronics I list below). Plus one of my best friends works there.

However, I think Amazon's continued success will rely on two things: being able to ship tax-free and having a free-shipping option. Without these two things their value-add diminishes considerably - at least for me.

Let me give an example. I just finished the first book in a three-book series and enjoyed it so much that I wanted the next two books for reading material over Christmas vacation, which I start in less than a week. The Amazon free shipping option won't get them to me in time, and even the "slow shipping" paid option would be risky since my latest experience using this option was seven calendar days. The only viable option with Amazon was their "second fastest" shipping option, which is two days. Either because of high shipping costs or because Amazon sticks it to people who are in a hurry, this made Amazon so expensive that it became more convenient to just get them at my local book store:

* Amazon shipping includes 1 day for processing, 2 days for shipping

So the lesson here is that for books I need to load up a few months in advance and use the free shipping option, which would have been a savings of ten bucks in this case if I had thought of it sooner.

For electronics and other high-ticket items, Amazon's benefit is the lack of sales tax (Ed: Mitch declares any unpaid sales tax on his California return, right?). For Christmas I got Mrs. Director a new DSC (Little Miss Director got a hold of the previous one and broke it) and a new camcorder (the current one is from 2000 and is giant compared to newer models). Total ticket price for these two items was over $600, but with free shipping (I ordered the weekend after Thanksgiving) and no sales tax was nearly a $70 savings on Amazon (I already gave them to Mrs. Director, so it won't be a surprise when she reads my blog):

* Shipping included one day handling and the free shipping option took a full week

If the states get their way and stick tax onto Amazon and other out-of-state retailers, their value becomes the item cost, where Amazon obviously has an advantage, but this would go away in many cases if shipping were added since it is usually more expensive than the 5-8% sales tax found in most states.

For this reason Amazon can call me an ally in their continued fight against state sales taxes being levied on out-of-state items.

C2: Half the Carbs, None of the Taste

After my belt exam today, I grabbed a C2 Coke - the low-carb version - as a refreshment. It came out half a year ago, but I am just getting around to trying it.

It's terrible. Diet Coke tastes better and has fewer calories, although I am not a fan of it either. Looks like I will just stick to the fully leaded stuff.

So What Exactly Do you DO Overseas?

As I sit here at the crack of dawn wide awake after getting back from Asia, I thought I would let everyone know what I do on these overseas trips, which can be categorized under three main categories:

1. Hosting U.S. companies visiting our overseas factories - This has been the largest number of my overseas trips in the last 12 months. As their marketing contact in the U.S., it is my duty to help them through the factory tour and program updates at our overseas sites. My jobs in these meetings consist of:

1a. English-Engrish Translation - One of the funny things about these meetings is that although everyone in the room is speaking English, not everyone understands each other. I don't know if it is because I have been dealing with Asian factories and customers for the past seven years or because I know my factory guys really well, but I seem to be able to both understand and communicate between my customer and factory guys when they don't understand each other:

Customer: We need the test program by the end of the month

Mitch: Can. You. Complete. Software. By. End. Of. December?

Factory Guy: We no hav required infomation

Mitch: December is tough. How does January sound?

Customer: Well, I will have to push out the program some, but I guess it will be okay

Mitch: If. Customer. Provides. Required. Information. By. End. Of. Week. Could. You. Complete. Software. By. Early. January.

Factory Guy: Is poshible.

Mitch: Hey, Bob, January it is. Just remember to send me that spec by Friday.

Customer: You got it.

Mitch: Customer. Is. Very. Pleased. With. New. Schedule. Please. Complete. On. Time.

1b. Program Management Assistance - Several of my U.S. customers have never done a product in this category, so I sort of provide additional information and reminders of what they need to do.

1c. Evening Entertainment - Our factories are in the middle of nowhere, so I usually provide a place for dinner, usually - but not always - with some of the factory guys thrown in. We get some "under the table" discussions this way, and I provide an introduction to local food and drink: "Hey, Bob, soju has practically no alcohol, so go ahead and finish that entire bottle." (Ed: Mitch is neglecting to inform you and the customer that Soju is about 35% alcohol, although it doesn't taste like it).

2. Meeting Asian Customers - These are basically sales and marketing calls with the local sales team. I am the "factory expert" brought in to do in the following:

2a. Give powerpoint presentation that just as easily could have been done by local guy - This one sort of explains itself.

2b. Nod Sagely As They Explain Their Program - The sales guys have already gotten this info and presented it to me, but Asian customers usually feel compelled to show it again to the "factory expert", so I sit through it again, always acting very impressed.

2c. Express gratitude that an Asian customer would use an American based company - This is a very important part of the meeting, especially in Japan, where NIH (not invented here) is a part of the national identity.

Usually I am just on the periphery on these programs as I let the local sales and marketing guys do the heavy lifting, but provide insight and direction as needed, sort of bringing me to the last facet of my trips.

3. Internal Meetings - The last reason I am over there is to have internal company meetings:

3a. Headquarters-Factory Meetings - As the HQ guy in charge of my products, I usually have one-on-one meetings with my internal guys to see what is really going that doesn't come out during the customer meetings. I also give them my high-level concerns on various factory milestones (yield, capital expense issues, etc.), and bring up goals and concerns I have for various programs. In addition I do some networking and personal relationship development that is pretty important in Asian cultures if you want to get things done.

3b. Headquarters-Sales Office Meetings - Similar to the factory meetings, I do the same thing with the local sales guys. The one difference is that our overseas sales directors are largely ex-pat Americans, so I usually end up having one-on-one meetings or dinners with them, and then meet separately with the local sales guys they manage. Doing just one or the other is a political minefield, and doing it together usually ends up with just the American managers doing all the talking, leaving some important information left unsaid by the locals.

Finding a Starbucks in Shinjuku

I have noted before that Japan is traditionally a tea culture. That is slowly changing, but the business hotels here can't brew a decent cup of coffee to save their life, although they try hard.

For this reason I have always looked for the closest Starbucks in the area for my morning fix. There was one near Shinjuku station that I have been going to for years, but to my shock and dismay I found that it was closed! I panicked, wondering if Starbucks pulled out of Japan, or at least Shinjuku, leaving me to fend with one of the other chains here:

Excelsior Coffee - This is a Starbucks wantabe, and where I ended up the first morning when I found my Starbucks missing. The coffee was pretty good, and definitely better than the hotel stuff, but not quite up to par. Their set-ups are nearly identical to Starbucks with comfy chairs and nice seating areas with nice music playing the background. If you can't find a Starbucks, this is a good back-up.


Doutor - These are low-end, "price cutting" coffee shops and all over the place. They are actually owned by the same company as Excelsior (they opened Excelsior as their high-end brand after Starbucks arrived). I haven't been to one and often wonder if they were meant to be named "Detour", which would be a good name for a coffee shop.


Peet's - I noticed a couple of these. It turns out these are a result of a licensing deal with a Japanese company. I have never been to one, although I know a lot of people in NoCal like them.

There were a few other stores here and there, but none that I was interested in - I wanted my Starbucks (or Diedrich, which isn't in Japan). So I did some research and found there were actually several close to my hotel - I just didn't know they were there. The Starbucks site lists them by address only, so I thought I would do everyone a favor and map the Starbucks which are in walking distance of Shinjuku station and the major business hotels in the area (note: there is apparently one IN Shinjuku station, but that place in a labyrinth and I haven't been able to find it):

Don't Bring Fido with You to Korea

They eat dog in Korea. I've never had it (I'll stick to eating whale), but I have seen dog restaurants in Seoul (it is served in specialty places, sort of like KFC is for chicken, so it isn't found on the menu in other types of restaurants).

Over dinner last night (we were eating beef), my colleagues gave me a few interesting factoids on this subject:

o There are a large number of Koreans who won't touch it, and there are movements to curb the practice to bring it more in line with the West, but contrary to what Westerners might read and what I wrote in the above linked post, it is still a relatively popular dish.

o It's seasonal, eaten in the summer months. The belief is that it helps bring back nutrients lost through sweating in the hot, humid summer.

o It's recommended after surgery since it is believed to help the healing process of muscles more than other types of protein.

o The dish is also popular in ceratain regions of China, although that's no surprise considering what else you can find on the menus there.

o Like cattle, the ones they eat are specially bred for the purpose of eating - they don't go around and clean out the pounds. Dogs can be found as pets here (but are rare since so many Koreans live in small houses and apartments) so Koreans sort of think of two types of dogs: pet dogs and food dogs.

That being said, Korea has some outstanding dishes that I thoroughly enjoy, which I will make a topic of another post.

Sex in Japan

Disclaimer: I have no direct experience with any of the below except Hostess Clubs. This info is from locals and offbeat guidebooks, with the gaps filled in from the internet. (Ed: Mitch also got permission from Mrs. Director before publishing)

Most people know there are large differences between Eastern and Western cultures in their attitudes towards sex. This becomes pretty obvious after only a short time in Japan: men have pictures of women other than their wife on their desk, they openly talk about seeing their "girlfriend" that evening before going home to the wife, men openly read sexually explicit manga or even "real" pornography in public with as much nonchalance as if they were reading Time or People.

In addition there are various thriving businesses catering to pretty much any sexual desire a man may have ranging from flirting to fetish. Here is a listing, starting with the tamest and going downhill:

Geisha - Thirty years ago most Americans thought Geisha was synonymous with prostitute, but I think from books and documentaries that Americans today know that Geisha means "artist" and they are nothing more than entertainers who take years to learn song, dance and instruments. They typically provide entertainment, conversation and light flirting to small parties of businessmen and are very, very expensive. Most geisha today are centered near the cultural capital of Kyoto.

As shown in the fictional but well researched book Memoirs of a Geisha, many enter long-term social and physical relationships with well established men of means, but this is no different than the majority of housewives in Newport Beach.

Hostess Clubs - Start with a Geisha, take away the art, leave the flirting, and you have a Hostess. Hostess Clubs are bars and karioke parlors where girls provide talk, flirt, keep your glass full with your favorite beverage, and will sing your favorite karioke song with you. This is a very common form of business entertainment and I have been to dozens of Hostess Clubs in Japan and the U.S. (I even took Mrs. Director to one in Newport Beach when a Japanese friend came into town). Typically nothing more happens than a hostess putting her hand on your arm and telling you "You are such an important business man. You must be really smart!", giving you quite the ego boost. Like geisha, however, many of the girls will become "girlfriends" of regular clients in a sort of "relationship with financial aid".

Strip Clubs - I think these are a Western import and have actually never seen one. They're here somewhere since one was shown in the movie Lost in Translation.

Health Clubs (also called "Esute") - Massages are healthy, right? So a health club provides you a massage. There might not seem anything wrong about that, except they also provide what in American parlance is called a "happy ending".

Soaplands - Baths are a part of Japanese culture, so why not go to a place that gives you a bath? And a scrubbing. All over.

Image Club - I found this one on the internet and it's a little too strange to believe. Essentially it's a brothel where the girls dress up in whatever turns you on: nurse, police woman, etc. The scary part is that "school girl" is one of the costumes. You don't have to be here long to know that Japanese men have a thing about this. The covers of adult magazines in the train stations often have adult models posing in school uniforms, which is rather creepy.

You can find a few other types of sexually oriented businesses here if you do an internet search. It's pretty surprising, but you have to keep in mind they have a totally different culture.

I do believe, however, that over time the mores of the Japanese are becoming closer to the West, so my guess is that many of the more explicit types of businesses will be gone in a generation or two.

What's on the Menu in Japan

This evening I wanted something filling, but not too heavy. But I didn't want sushi since I had that for lunch. Obviously I decided to eat at a tonkatsu joint.

It's funny, but six years ago I knew next to nothing about Japanese food, except for sushi. Ten years ago the thought of eating raw fish made me shudder. Today I am familiar with most major types of Japanese food and consider sushi one of my favorite foods in the world.

For those of you who don't know a lot about Japanese cuisine here are the major types of establishments I like to eat at while I am over here:

Sushi and Sashimi - I don't need to explain this one - it's everywhere in the U.S. I even saw a sushi place when I was passing through Abilene a decade ago. One thing I will say is that Japanese sushi is typically much better than its American counterpart. I don't know why - maybe because the fish is fresher? The best sushi I had ever was in Osaka.

Tempura - This is deep fried vegetables and seafood (usually shrimp) and sometimes even meat. This was actually invented by 16th century Portuguese missionaries who didn't like eating all that raw stuff the Japanese ate. Many people in the U.S. are familiar with it since it is usually offered on the menu at sushi places.

Teppanyaki - This is "BeniHana" style cooking of meat, seafood and vegetables over a hot table-top grill. It's probably less popular here than in the U.S.

Tonkatsu - This is a breaded pork cutlet, usually served with a side of shredded cabbage. Contrary to what you might think, it is not very heavy at all.

Shabu-Shabu - This is a form of cooking where water is boiled and thinly sliced meat and vegetables (and usually some other stuff like tofu) are thrown in to cook for a while before taken out and eaten, at which point more stuff thrown into the pot for the next round. Sort of similar to fondue, except water is used instead of oil.

Udon, Soba, Raman - These are each a different type of noodle. They are usually served in a bowl with broth, vegetables, and sometimes other stuff like meat, seafood, or tempura (soba is sometimes served alone and eaten cold). This is the Japanese form of fast food.

Yakitori - This is where meat and vegetables are put onto little skewers and grilled. One of my favorites for a light meal, Yakitori houses are usually little holes in the wall and hard to find.

Yakiniku - This is the Japanese form of Korean BBQ where you grill your own marinated meat over a grill at your table. The best Yakiniku place EVER was a place called Santoku in Tokyo but, sadly, it is no longer around. The second best place is in Newport Beach and called Anjin, where my family and friends go frequently.

Biru - Beer. On the menu wherever I go.

Happy Pearl Harbor Day from Japan

Funny, I haven't noticed any ceremonies or anyone commenting about Pearl Harbor Day over here. From the Japanese perspective Yamamoto did a great job of catching the U.S. with its pants down, and if a few things had gone Japan's way (if they had caught the carriers in port and had successfully bombed the oil storage depot), the result of the war wouldn't have changed, but it would have taken a whole lot longer (atom bombs aside).

So here I sit just 63 years later in the Japanese capital surrounded by friendly pro-American Japanese who love American icons (there's a Starbucks, McDonalds and Burger King within a block radius of my current office, although I had sushi for lunch). It's hard to believe we were fighting tooth and nail just two generations ago.

Most People Never Market a Blockbuster

One of the things that occurred to me on this trip is the fact that I have never marketed a "blockbuster". This isn't really a matter of my marketing abilities, just a matter of statistics.

A vast majority of products that are produced out in the world of business never make money. A large number of them muddle along, making a little money, but never quite hitting critical mass. A very small number are breakout successes creating vast sums of money for the corporation and kudos and promotions for those involved.

Business articles mainly concentrate on either the large successes (the Mustang, Viagra) or the huge failures (the Edsel, Vioxx). They don't mention the vast majority that are mediocre successes or silent failures. I find that most of the products that I have worked on fit in these categories:

TMS320C30 - This was one of the first 32-bit DSPs (Digital Signal Processor) on the market and the first product I ever marketed. It was actually successful in it's segment - floating point DSPs - but it sold in a year what 16-bit fixed point DSPs sold in a few weeks. Despite large profit margins, the revenue was so small that no one in corporate would pay much attention to it.

TMS320C40 - This was a "parallel processing" DSP, and more a science project than anything else. This product was created by the techies in design and thrown over the wall to marketing (me) to sell. It sold well in very high end, very low volume segments that already were using multiple DSPs per system, but the volume did nothing to raise my visibility at the company, especially as fixed point DSPs were skyrocketing thanks to a new-fangled device called a "cell phone". The product was eventually killed.

TMS320C67x - My company tried a floating point DSP one more time - this time with a VLIW (Very Long Instruction Word) architecture. By this time I was the "go to" guy in this product category, but I was tired of marketing products that, although I liked and thought were cool, didn't make much revenue and thus did nothing for my career. I stayed with the company through product introduction and then went off to do other things. The product still seems to be muddling along.

MFC1000/2000 - I joined another company and came into this project "in media res" (in the middle of things). The project was signed off by management a full year before I came on board, but it was still not on the market due to design delays. I did a marketing analysis and told management to kill the product - it was simply too late to market. Although I was potentially killing my own job with the proposal, I thought that this was a better alternative than spending more money to create a product that never made money. Management ignored my suggestion and brought the product to market. I did my best to sell it, and won a socket here and there, but the end result was what I predicted. I left this mess of a company for a start-up.

YM-3120, YM-i320 - These were great products being introduced just before the market was ready for them. Customers saw their potential and were interested in buying lots of them - in a year or two. Unfortunately by that time the start-up had become the victim of the tech meltdown and had run out of money. If the company had survived, these two would have been good - maybe even great - successes, but I will never really know.

Commodity Electronics - My next job was at a large multinational mega-corporation doing strategic marketing for commodity electronics products. How do you do strategic marketing for a commodity product? I didn't ask, I just took the job since I was unemployed after the tech bust. I did my best to create differentiation with brand identity and service. I never got any real feedback on my efforts since commodity products - by definition - are sold based on price. I left this job after the tech job market picked up and the minimum amount of time had passed to save face for both me and the company (one year).

Manufacturing Services - Today I am not selling products, I am selling manufacturing services. The service I am selling is a new one for my company, and I was brought on near the beginning of the program to make this segment successful.

After a year in my current position things are looking good, and the next six months will be make-or-break for my "product" (service). This time, I actually have a shot of marketing something that could be a large success, but there are plenty of things that could go wrong during that time. However, these things aren't marketing related - I already have lots customers signed up - they are execution and delivery oriented. This means that I am no longer "marketing" for the success of my product, but doing program management and factory oversight.

Off to Far Away Lands

Blogging has been pretty slow as I prepare for a long overseas trip (there's nothing like leaving home for a business trip right before the holidays). This also means that blogging will continue to be light for a while.

On the plus side, Mrs. Director gave me my Christmas present early so I can get good use out of it - Bose noise cancellation headphones. A very cool gift for frequent fliers since it cancels out the engine noise while you listen to music or a movie. This was a great gift - it was an item that I thought was neat, will get a lot of use out of, but would have never gone out and bought myself.

What Makes a Movie "Christmassy"?

One of my favorite Christmas movies is Die Hard.

Stay with me here. It's a Christmas movie since it falls into the last of my four categories of Christmas movies:

1. Portrays the Birth of Christ - Sadly, the smallest category. The only one I can think of off the top of my head is Little Drummer Boy. At least A Charlie Brown Christmas has Linus reading from Luke 2:8-14.

2. Deals with Christmas Symbols - This is probably the largest category and includes any movie having to do with Santa, Rudolph, Frosty, and the like. Miracle on 34th Street is usually everyone's favorite in this category. In TV shows, I sort of like those stop-motion shows from childhood.

3. Deals with the Christmas Spirit - This is probably the second largest category since it can make everyone feel good without actually bringing religion or Christ into the equation. Movies like It's a Wonderful Life fall into this category, as do the dozens of adaptions of "A Christmas Carol".

4. Takes Place at Christmas Time - These are movies that take place at Christmas or use Christmas elements at plot drivers, putting Die Hard squarely in this category (the set-up takes place at a Christmas party).

So the last category is why someone can pick Gremlins as their favorite Christmas movie (they were bought as a Christmas present).