Iron Chef Jerusalem: Arab vs. Kosher

The first night in Israel I was taken out to an Arab restaurant called Pasha's. The second evening I went to a kosher restaurant called Canella. So we have a food fight between Arab and Jew. Whose food will reign supreme?!?

• Ambiance:
  - Pasha - Exotic, Middle Eastern dive. I felt I was in the Middle East.
  - Canella - Trendy and upscale. I might as well have been in LA.
  
  Winner: Pasha. I felt I was in a foreign land here. Canella, while nice, was like any upscale place in the U.S.

• Staff:
  - Pasha: Swarthy, Arab guys
  - Canella: Pretty, Jewish girls
  
  Winner: Pretty obvious here. Food always goes better with cleavage.

• Drinks:
  - Pasha: Arab beer?!? It's true. I and my fellow Americans were amazed since we thought alcohol was frowned upon. It was pretty good.
  - Canella: Kosher Chardonnay from the Golan Heights. It was an EXCELLENT wine, and I am not a Chardonnay fan. No Manischewitz here.
  
  Winner: Canella. Our party of three went through two bottles. I hope to find a bottle to bring home to Mrs. Director.

• Appetizer:
  - Pasha: Pita bread with lots and lots of little dipping dishes, like hummus and other things I couldn't identify. It was all very good and practically a meal in itself.
  - Canella: Sushi mixed with mango and other vegetables. Very good.
  
  Winner: Edge to Pasha for regional authenticity. Canella, while tasty, wasn't really of the area.

• Main Course:
  - Pasha: Lamb Kabobs - Added to a pita and one of the sides, it made an awesome Middle Eastern Fajita.
  - Canella - Grilled Sea Bass with a side of baby vegetables
  
  Winner: Giving them a tie here. Both were very good and true to what each resteraunt was trying to be.

• Dessert:
  - Pasha - Little dumpling things, like donut holes. (Sorry I can't retain the names of any of the local foods, so if you know the names, put in the comments section).
  - Canella - A chocolate mousse between two chocolate wafers. Heavenly.
  
  Winner: Huge win for Canella here. That chocolate like sex thing women talk about came true for me with this dessert.

• Coffee:
  - Pasha - Turkish coffee, which was basically an espresso.
  - Canella - Espresso. Funny story here. One of my colleagues asked for a latte. The waitress looked at him funny and said: "This is a Kosher restaurant. WE DON'T SERVE MILK HERE!" We all had a laugh at that.
  
  Winner: They were pretty much the same.

• After Dinner Smoke:
  - Pasha - This was way cool: They brought a three foot tall hookah to the table and put live coals on the top, which heated the TOBACCO in the carrier below. The smoke was drawn out through a water-cooled bowl below the carrier and out a long tube which I inhaled. The TOBACCO was aromatic and sweet, scented with apple and cinnamon. It was an incredibly smooth smoke and an excellent end to a heavy meal. (My colleague took a picture, but he can't email it to me until he gets back to the U.S., so I will post it here next week).
  
  - Canella - Not an option. In fact, I am not sure smoking was allowed.
  
  Winner: Huge win for Pasha.
  
  
  

So the winner is...a tie! How is that for diplomacy? I'll probably hit both places again on a future trip.

Nobody Thinks of It In Asia

This is Asia? I must have taken a wrong turn in Albuquerque. Either that or yarmulkes have become tres chic.

Actually, Israel is in on the western edge of Asia, but there aren’t a whole lot of what the U.S. PC Police would call “Asians” here. Those “Asians” are on the eastern part of the continent and make up my customer base. The technology I am peddling, however, was developed on the western end, which is why I am here: I need to give the R&D guys a list of what they need to invent next

This is my first trip here, and thankfully, not part of a circumnavigation. With customers in China and engineers in Israel, it sort of makes sense to start in one direction and visit both sets of people before returning home - without turning around. It looks like I will have plenty of those trips in the future, but this isn’t one of them.

The funny part about telling people you are going to Israel are the two, totally opposite reactions to your travel plans:

1. Worry – For this group the mention of “Israel” on the itinerary creates a furrow of the brow as the listener tries to remember the date and death toll of the last bombing and the likelihood of another one happening during my visit. To ease their worry I usually remind them that the U.S. has 41 murders a day (15,000 a year based on the latest FBI data), but no one gets worried when I tell them I am heading to Seattle.
   
   
   
2. Jealous – These are largely people interested in the country for archeological or religious reasons and respond “I wish I could go there!” Definitely the minority. I thought most of my Jewish friends would fall into this group, but most of them just told me “Don’t take public transportation.”, putting them in the first group.
   

For the Worriers I plan to buy souvenir t-shirts that read “My Friend Went to Israel and Didn’t Get Blown Up”. However, I will admit that the week is still young.

Note: The Pirate gets bragging rights for guessing correctly where I was going.

Not Quite There, But...

Did you know Continental Airlines sucks? You probably do. Don't forget it.

On the Road: Mystery Destination

Sitting in an LAX airport lounge, waiting for my flight to...you get to guess.

Hint: It is in Asia, but very few people classified as "Asians" live there.

Family members and personal friends disqualified from participating. Void where prohibited. Must be 18 to play. Taxes and fees sole responsibility of participant. Game not legal in Utah, Alaska and Guam.

Send an Email to the Future You

Here's something sort of interesting. Yahoo and Forbes have set up an email time capsule where you can send an email to yourself in one, three, five, ten or twenty years.

This sounds fairly interesting, assuming you don't change your "permanent" email by that time. And assuming spam filters of the future won't block it out. And you're still alive. And email hasn't changed significantly. And...

One Minute Review: Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire

It's something of a Thanksgiving tradition for Mrs. Director and I to head out to a movie while our turkey is digesting. This year we headed out to see the latest installment of Harry potter, and I have to say it is a great holiday adventure movie. No deep meanings here, just good, clean entertainment. I thought the movie captured the angst of high school dances quite well, and some of the most humorous parts of the movie had to do with Harry and his friends trying to get dates to the big dance. The special effects were so good that you don't even notice them.

The most surprising part of the move wasn't in the actual movie at all. Maybe due to complaints from movie goers, the movie, which had a "start time" of 7pm had the opening credits of the movie starting at 7:05. There were no commercials and only a single trailer.

4.5 out of 5 stars from the Director.

The Orange Revolution Exhibit in Chicago

Those of you in Chicago the first week of December have the chance to see the opening of an exclusive North American showing of art from the Ukrainian "Orange Revolution" at the Ukrainian Institute of Modern Art. Even better, if you do go to the opening, you will have the chance to meet the mysterious and lovely Mrs. Director, which is itself a reason to go. If you aren't there for the opening, you can catch the exhibit until February. Here's the full press release with more information:

ARTISTS RESPOND:
Ukrainian Art and The Orange Revolution

DECEMBER 2, 2005 - FEBRUARY 28, 2006

THE UKRAINIAN INSTITUTE OF MODERN ART OFFERS
UNIQUE PRESENTATION OF UKRAINIAN ART

Chicago, IL. In December 2004 we saw the world focused squarely on the elections in a country that is seldom the subject of national or global headlines. The country is Ukraine and nearly one year ago, the people of Ukraine asserted their right to not only free elections but fair elections. The historical significance of what transpired captured the hearts and minds of all who watched - from the attempted poisoning of the democratic candidate to the mass demonstrations in Kyiv's Independence Square. For two weeks the world witnessed the power of a human spirit that desires freedom, fairness and democracy. Witnesses sat in awe of the peaceful and organized manner with which hundreds of thousands united for the cause of democracy. People poured in from all regions of Ukraine as did Ukrainians from around the world. In freezing temperatures, tent cities were built and food was distributed. Rock stars performed and people blogged the events real time from the streets via email and text messages. In the end, the demonstrators, draped in the Orange color of their embattled candidate, prevailed, and Victor Yuschenko was elected President of Ukraine.

Artists Respond
Recognizing the historical significance of what was transpiring, the Ukrainian Institute of Modern Art in Chicago, in conjunction with the Center for Contemporary Art (CCA) in Kyiv, will host an exhibition of contemporary art that blossomed from the streets of the revolution. During the demonstrations the Director of the CCA in Kyiv, Yurij Onuch, flung open the doors of the Center to young artists demonstrating in Independence Square and encouraged them to utilize the resources of the center to experiment and create utilizing the energy of the revolution as their muse. For several weeks a group of young artists utilized the facilities at the CCA to capture, explain and interpret the momentous occasion of the Orange Revolution.

The result was nothing short of extraordinary. Artists Respond: Ukrainian Art and The Orange Revolution showcases the work of this new generation of Ukrainian artists. The exhibit not only captures the significance of a major historical event but the works ask difficult questions surrounding Ukraine's past, who it is now and how it will move forward. The compositions in the exhibition combine to explore these questions and others such as Ukraine's role in the West and how it manages its relationship with the East. The exhibition offers works in many media including painting, sculpture and mixed media.

Ukrainian Institute of Modern Art

We are pleased to announce that The Ukrainian Institute of Modern Art (UIMA) has joined together with the Center for Contemporary Art in Kiev to bring this exhibition of revolutionary art to Chicago. In December 2005, UIMA will present Artists Respond: Ukrainian Art and The Orange Revolution - the first exhibition of Ukrainian Revolutionary art shown in North America.

The Ultimate iPod Accessory

It's larger than your typical accessory, and a tad more expensive as well:

But it interfaces with Mrs. Director's iPod quite well.

You plug in your iPod and put it in the glove box, and control it via the console OR buttons on the steering wheel. So cruising down the road and finding your favorite playlist is quite easy. It would be a tad cooler with my Nano, but Mrs. Director won't let me plug it in since it would somehow establish some sort of claim of ownership over HER car.

This is a quick entry since time is tight, but I'll write another entry later this weekend on the car shopping and negotiating experience, which is always a harrowing time.

Bluetooth: Not Ready for Prime Time

In addition to the new Mot V3 that I received from my new company, I also got a new IBM T43 laptop. I was pretty excited about this since they both have Bluetooth, so I could - theoretically - get the two synched, making my V3 more than just a cool fashion statement by giving it some PDA functions.

I did get the two talking to one another and have now synched my contacts and calendar, but it took - and I am not making this up - over four hours of screwing around with both the phone and the PC before I got the link-up to work. I put most of the blame on the PC side, especially the software people that Mot uses, BVRP, who, as a French company, should simply surrender the market to someone who knows what they are doing.

I won't go into the details, but I had to abandon the set-up software provided by the French and go into manually setting up the Bluetooth connection and then loading the proper phone drivers directly myself. The "ah-hah" point came when I turned off the firewall that Windows XP so thoughtfully provided to all the modems in my system - including the Bluetooth one - and I switched the BVRP software from the LAN setting to modem setting. Each of these were deep in the operating system and BVRP software, so would not be something a casual user would have figured out. And it took me many hours and some pointers from some internet chat boards to figure it out.

But I think this is not really so much an issue with Mot, IBM, or BVRP (although they are partly to blame), but I think more an issue with Bluetooth itself. The technology really isn't ready for the mass market, and just a casual look at the message boards and help sites I was reading while I went through my ordeal shows that there are many, many compatibility and software issues that still have to be worked out on this technology.

My nifty Bluetooth headset is due in on Monday, and I am hoping I have nothing near the problems I had with this.

Why is Buying a Car Harder Than Buying a House?

The next few entries will be about a car buying experience Mrs. Director and I are going through. The reason it isn't a single entry is because of the steps, length of time, anguish, waiting, negotiating, hair pulling and other hassles required to buy a car. How in the hell did something that should be fun and exciting become this hard?

This blog entry is focused on what we did with the car we already had. Or, more accurately, the car Mrs. Director had. You see, I get the new job with the big pay raise, but Mrs. Director is the one who gets a new car first. I don't know how this happened, but my dad warned about it long ago. It's just one of those things of marriage.

Anyway, I am too lazy to Google the statistics, but my gut says that most people just trade in their old car into the dealer, a smaller number sell it on the private market, and a very small percentage do something else like give it to a relative or charity. There is obviously an inverse relationship between what you get for the car and the amount of time and effort involved. For example, the most money you will get out of your old car is selling it to a private individual. But this will take the most time and effort to do. Trading it in is the easiest route, but you won't get much for it, plus the dealers use a bunch of well-worn maneuvers on your trade in vs. the price of the new car to stick it to you even harder than they normally would.

Mrs. Director had the idea to try a middle route: sell the car to a business that specializes in buying used cars: CarMax. Their promise is that they will appraise your car and offer you a non-negotiable offer. If you accept, they cut you a check. If not, you walk away. Mrs. Director and I assumed we would get less than a private sale, but more than a trade-in. Plus we would wouldn't have the trade-in hanging over us when we negotiated for the new car.

So I wandered over to CarMax with Mrs. Director's car and title and cooled my heals for an hour while they did the appraisal. Of course during that time they took me on a guided tour of their facility and showed me all the used cars they had for sale. I kicked a few tires while I killed time, but told them I just wanted to sell.

After an hour they came back and, according to the Blue Book figures I already had from the internet, they gave me...the trade-in value on the car. Bottom line: YOU WILL NOT GET MORE MONEY FOR YOUR CAR BY SELLING IT TO CARMAX. So if you want the most money for your car, and are willing to go through the hassle, stick an ad in the paper.

After talking it over with Mrs. Director on the cellphone, however, we decided to go ahead and accept the offer for the following reasons:

• We didn't want to go through the hassle of a private sale. I am extremely busy with my new job, plus we wanted to close on Mrs. Director's new car before Thanksgiving, so there was a time constraint and hassle factor.
  
• While we would have gotten the same amount on a trade in, there is the hassle of going through the appraisal process again.
  
• As noted above, we didn't want the trade-in to cloud the negotiations on the new car purchase. We wanted to walk in and negotiate one item and one item only: the price. No trade-in. No financing. Price.

So I said okay and cooled my heals for another hour while they did the paperwork and drew my bank draft. All in, I was there about three hours.

Next Entry: Starting the search for the New Car

For Self-Destructive Electronics?

Looks like Intel thinks there is a future in electronics that self-destruct: Intel Creates $50M Middle East Venture Fund

Intel Corp. said today it has established a $50 million venture capital fund to invest in technology companies developing innovative hardware, software and services in the region covering the Middle East.

In all seriousness, this is nice gesture by Intel. As I have said before about other technology investments in the Middle East, one way to help integrate that region into the world community is to provide investments and incentives to create businesses that take part in the world economy.

Deal Phrase of the Day

Fire and Forget - A type of transaction where the deal-makers involved close the deal and move on to the next one without following through on the transaction, integration issues, or other consequences of the deal. Also may refer to a type of deal-maker.

Waiting on Convergence

One of the nice things about starting a new full-time job is all the new gizmos that I get on the Company nickel. The latest is a new cellphone, which is a RAZR GSM (catalog photo):

I give it thumbs-up on design and sleekness, but the functionality is no different from other phones out there, which means it's okay, but not great. This device is more about fashion than function. The Bluetooth headset - which will make it a real fashion accessory - is due in next week, allowing me to join all those geeks in San Jose airport wearing what looks like an oversized, glowing earring.

So with this I am now carrying around three slim, cool electronics accessories with me whenever I travel:

1. RAZR Cellphone - Necessary for business
   
2. iPod nano - Necessary for the flight over
   
3. Casio Exilim DSC 3 Megapixel - Necessary for any touring I get while on my trip

Each of these are quite slim and does its individual job very, very well, and while there are a few gizmos out there that will do all three functions, they all suck as multifunction products.

For example, the new iPod cellphone, the ROKR, is larger than simply duct-taping a RAZR to a nano, which would give you the same functionality. And, of course, the ROKR has a 100 song limit, greatly restricting its usefulness. Likewise, the RAZR actually has a built-in camera, but the image quality sucks, and VGA is not the resolution I want if I manage to get away for some touring.

So while I would like to combine all three devices into one to save size and weight in my computer bag, it looks like I will be carrying multiple devices for at least the next several years.

Fencing In is Sometimes as Good as Eliminating

In my new company, there is a sales guy who is a country manager for an Asian country, but really doesn't have his own product portfolio. He is expected to maintain relationships with companies and speak the lingo, but not drive any deals himself.

This must not what he wants to do since he keeps on trying to cut himself in one my customers without telling me (I'm sorry if he's bored in his job, but I didn't define it). This is a situation I can't let slide since I will be entering some very sensitive negotiations with this customer and don't need a loose canon in there making promises I haven't heard, not knowing the overall strategy for the engagement with this customer, and potentially screwing up the deal we plan to make with this customer.

Discussions have been held with the guy himself as well as his management, but nothing seems to be working. It was done very nicely along the lines of "Hey, we want you to maintain good relationships with customers in this country, just coordinate with Mitch before you do anything with this customer since he is driving the strategy." But even after these discussions I found out he was sending one-on-one emails to the customer trying to set up meetings without my knowledge.

Instead of going ballistic, I just fenced him in: everyone else in the company - or at least those that he might engage with - knows to send anything he asks them for this particular product line and customer to my attention. Since he can't get anything done without the engineering and other support groups, it basically stops him dead in the water. For example, he sent an email to an R&D guy asking about something for this company - which he wasn't supposed to do. The engineer replied to the guy and copied me that I had to okay anything that goes on at this customer.

So the guy is fenced in and shouldn't be a problem moving forward in this case. But I have to deal with the longer-term and larger issue of what to do with someone who - because his job is ill-defined or because he doesn't like it - is turning into a loose canon.

You're Interested in Our Product? Tough!

Triage - A system used by medical or emergency personnel to ration limited medical resources when the number of injured needing care exceeds the resources available to perform care.

Triage isn't only used in the medical community. It is also used in business.

To give a little more background on my new job, the corporation that hired me just acquired a small, private company. So that was what I was working on during my six months of consulting: an acquisition. The deal I was offered was this: if the acquisition closed I would be brought on full time to run the "top line revenue" of the new division. This is a fancy way to say I am now responsible for sales of this new group that was just acquired.

Now this small, private company did a lot of what I would call "science projects". These were little R&D projects where they collected service fees, but barely enough to keep the lights on. They also spent a lot of time chasing illusive, pie-in-the sky deals from other start-ups who promised volume in the BILLIONS.

Now they are part of a bigger company and have a real revenue number to hit with limited resources to do it with. So I am going in with a big scythe and am cutting out customers that don't match the profile I need to hit my 2006 revenue number. I am kicking out three existing customers, cutting off one who was pretty far down the road on a new project, and ignored half a dozen companies that sent their information in at a recent trade show. The fact that there was a recent acquisition makes the "excuse" for dropping these guys pretty easy, and I get to play the heavy, but it is never fun to tell someone who is interested in your product or service to get lost. It goes against instinct.

The good news is that this leaves some large, resource-rich customers that I can now focus our resources on. And if all goes well, just a percentage of these closing will make the revenue number for the year.

Rooftops in Asia

1998 - Century Hyatt Skybar, Tokyo - My boss and I make a toast to a long and prosperous business and the many customers we will have in Asia. I leave the company less than 18 months later.

2000 - Kaio Plaza Skybar, Tokyo - Rorschach and I make a toast on our new start-up, and the long and prosperous business we will have, mostly from customers in Asia. The company was shut down less then two years later.

2003 - Grand Hyatt Skybar, Taipei - My boss and I make a toast to a long and prosperous business and the many customers we will have in Asia. I was laid off from the company about a year later.

2005 - My boss and I are scheduled to travel together to Asia in December. Along the way we will go to a hotel skybar and make a toast. How will it turn out?

Read This Blog and Prosper

Long time reader David has started a new company!

I've written you a few times over the past 2 years for marketing advice which you created into blog entries (Ed Note: here, here, and here). Gosh, can't believe I've been keeping up with your blog for 2+ years. (Ed Note: Neither can Mitch).

I just launched a mobile media service called Pixpulse. PixPulse allows you to share mobile photos and videos directly from your phone to your friend's mobile devices in real-time to view and comment. You can geo-tag media and broadcast your own mobile media channel.

I recently returned from speaking at a conference with other startup founders at Stanford along with the founders of FireFox, Plaxo, Imeem, Meetro and others. Starting my own company and hanging out with these kinds of people has been a great experience.

He wanted to write "if it weren't for your blog I wouldn't be where I am today", but I guess that got truncated on the email.

In all seriousness, congratulations and good luck in your new venture.

The Joys of Work

Wow, after doing consulting for half a year, I forgot about the joys of a full-time job:

• Emails - I got maybe 10 emails a day as a consultant. Today, my third day on the job, I probably had 50, and I am not even fully integrated into the company yet. I wrote no fewer than two dozen outgoing ones today, versus the handful of business ones I used to do a day. And it will probably go up from there.
  

• Turf Battles - Some people just have a hard time letting go. The guy who sort of was involved with my customer base before I came on board doesn't want to let go and will be hard to shake lose. It doesn't help that the organizational structure is still "in flux".
  

• Everyone Wants to be in Sales - I have nearly half a dozen requests from people to "go to the next customer meeting". These include engineers, program managers, and people who I think have no real job function.
  
  

But...I enjoy the job anyway.

Not the BSG Character I Was Expecting

I was hoping for Adama, who I think is the coolest character on the show, but he came in second to Tyrol. I don't know how this happened, unless Mrs. Director is really a Cylon...

You scored as CPO Galen Tyrol. You never wanted to be a glamorous Viper pilot. You are happy knowing that without you to fix their birds, they cannot fly. You fell in love with the wrong girl, but is that so wrong? Maybe, but you don't really care. CPO Galen Tyrol 69% Commander William Adama 63% Lt. Kara Thrace (Starbuck) 56% Capt. Lee Adama (Apollo) 50% President Laura Roslin 44% Number 6 31% Dr Gaius Baltar 31% Col. Saul Tigh 13% Tom Zarek 13% Lt. Sharon Valerii (Boomer) 6% What New Battlestar Galactica character are you? created with QuizFarm.com

Hat Tip: Poliblog

Some Patents Aren't Meant to Be

For the bulk of my career I have marketing things, mainly semiconductors (aka "computer chips). More recently I have marketed services, specifically outsource manufacturing services.

Now I am marketing...knowledge. My new job title is Director of Business Development and Licensing. That last part of my title opens up a whole new area of knoweldge for me, so I will be spending a lot of time learning the intracacies of patents and licensing contracts - which means readers of this blog will do the same.

Right now I am reading up on patent law, which is pretty dry unless "real world" examples are used, in which case it becomes pretty interesting. For example, the process of invalidating or contesting a patent is a lot more interesting when it examines stupid patents that have been granted and overturned. For example :

• System and method for providing reservations for restroom use
• Repetitive strain injury assessment
• Device for perfusing an animal head

The website where these were found has an issue with business-method patents, which I agree has some serious issues, but isn't what I am doing since I am licensing utility patents - i.e. valid methods of manufacturing. Utility patents are pretty straight forward in the U.S., but the area I have to watch out for - and that is most applicable to my job - is overseas patent enforcement, especially in China. So expect some blog entries in the future on this area of development.

You're Hired!

Six months of consulting. Sixty page marketing studies. Contract negotiations. International trips. Doing lunches and dinners with the CEO and various VPs. After all of that I finally got transitioned from consultant to full-time employee today, although I basically have been an employee in everything except name since May.

Much to my surprise HR came through today, although I was expecting it to take another week. After all the drama outlined earlier in the week, it was actually a bit anticlimactic. I signed my offer letter and they went through the benefits package. And they didn't spend a lot of time on it since I know what a 401K and ESPP is. The funny part is that although I will remote-office and be in Headquarters only one day a week, they are still setting me up with a cubicle with a phone. Whatever. I didn't complain.

The funny thing I noticed today is that there is a difference between being an employee and a consultant. Just signing on that dotted line means that the people I have worked with for six months treat me just a little differently. The receptionist is friendlier. I went from being a hanger-on'er to being in the club. The only thing missing was the secret handshake.

I'll go into my new job in more detail in another posting, but in the mean time I ran across a blog from someone on the other end of the spectrum who just graduated, is preparing her resume and is trying to figure out what to do with her life. It is an interesting contrast of what I just went through in my own job search.

My Resume Problem

I'm due to go in and accept an offer for "real" employment tomorrow. Doing so will make my resume a bit more of a mess than it already is.

My resume has two degrees from a top notch university, and some impressive feats over my 16 year career. One problem the resume has, however, is the total number of companies I have worked for. Upon acceptance of a job tomorrow, I will be starting my fifth job in seven years, and will technically be starting a new job for the ninth time since 1989. But as Han Solo said "It's not my fault!" (on some of them, anyway):

Job 1 - I was at Texas Instruments for four years. During that time I got all sorts of marketing awards - one every year in fact - but I was never given a promotion. The final straw was when I found out that brand new hires were making the same salary I was. I told them to take this job and shove it.

Job 2 - Start-up number 1. Won't go into the details, but let's just say that I was there two years before it imploded.

Job 3- Back at TI, so you can count this maybe as job 2.5. After the start-up implosion I had a line on a job back at TI (where they still wanted me) and Compaq. I decided to go with the devil I knew instead of the devil I didn't. At least I negotiated a better compensation package this time.

Job 4 - After two years back at TI I remembered why I left. However it was the siren song of California that called - well, a headhunter anyway - who promised a big raise and a move to the left coast. Soon-to-be-Mrs. Director helped push the decision since she wanted to leave Texas in a big way. The problem with this job is that the VP who brought me in was fired after I was there only six months. The guy who replaced him couldn't manage his way out of a paper bag.

Job 5 - Start-up Number 2. The CEO who was fired at Job 4 started a new company. This was 1999 when VC capital was being thrown at any idea drawn on a napkin. He got the money and poached pretty much his entire marketing team from Job 4, so my first day at Job 5 was with the exact same people I started work with at Job 4. Unfortunately the tech bubble burst just a few years later, and the VCs shut the place down in the spring of 2002.

Job Gap - I did six months of unemployment. This wasn't like my current "unemployment" stint where I consulted and made more money each month than I ever did working. I am talking sitting-at-home-waiting-for-the-phone-to-ring unemployment. This was after the tech bubble, and high-tech marketing guys were a dime a dozen. It was a horrible, depressing experience, so I pretty much took the first thing that came along.

Job 6 - The first thing that came along was a job at a very large Asian conglomerate. I was hired as the first - and only - white guy in the division. They treated me nicely, but they didn't give me anything to do. I was outside the political structure, and even asked to leave meetings since they would not take place in English. It was during this time that I started this blog and called it "Window Manager", which is a Japanese phrase for someone who has a job, but has nothing to do but stare out the window all day - which described my position pretty well. So I kept my ear to the ground for other opportunities.

Job 7 - So I found something that looked promising. A company wanted to expand into a new market, which happened to be one of my areas of expertise. They promised they would be spending money on expansion, promotion, etc. I started and brought all sorts of deals to the table. The problem was that I didn't check into the company's finances carefully before I started (they were public). Long story short, the company was having severe financial problems and a year after I started they decided they didn't have the money to expand into this market after all. So they cut the group and let me go.

Job 8 - Not a "job" in the traditional sense, but my consulting gig for the last six months. I worked for myself, but had only one client, and a nice arrangement that is scheduled to transition into a full-time position tomorrow. I will probably tie it into a single resume heading with "Job 9" below, but the HR people I am dealing with now insisted I put this consulting gig as a "job" on my formal application form.

Job 9 - The company I am scheduled to start full-time tomorrow.

So technically nine jobs, which I will put as seven headings on a resume (Job 8/9 are the same, and Job 1/3 were at TI, which I usually tie together as one heading over two periods).

With this sort of stability, would YOU hire me? My current client didn't have a problem, but they got to sample my work for half a year. But I hope to make this job a long-term commitment since it looks to be something that really fits me and will be something of a long-term challange, which I will go into more on a later post.

More HR Madness

My consulting client has finally decided to bring me on board - right in the middle of a new product announcement. They got their HR department started on the paperwork last Friday assuming everything would be closed for the announcement this week. Man, were they wrong.

Despite the fact that I have been doing the job as a consultant for six months, HR wants to do a "verification check" to confirm that my credentials are what I say they are. One would think that the 80 page marketing study I did would be proof enough.

And despite the fact that I was given free reign of the building, they will also do a "background check" to make sure I don't have a record (if I wanted to steal anything I could have done it during the times I was alone in the building at night waiting for my taxi to take me to the airport).

I would find this whole thing ridiculous if I didn't find it so insulting. In the mean time my consulting contract expired on Sunday and I am getting urgent requests to do stuff for the product launch - which I am ignoring. I don't work for free, after all.

I thought that might pressure management to pressure HR to just get the offer out, but that didn't seem to work. HR reconfirmed it might take another week to get the offer out and the product launch is imminent. So I told my client this morning to extend my consulting contract until the full time offer was closed.

So chalk this up to another case of an HR organization doing things that hurt the company rather than help it. Par for the course.

Update: After pushing and prodding they DID get a verbal offer out to me this evening - so I am somewhat satisfied.